It is one thing to come up with a plan.

It’s quite another to follow through.

Today The Slice presents a candid interview with The Spokane Guy Who Admits He Has Already Abandoned His New Year’s Resolutions. You won’t believe what he had to say.

Q: So how long did you last?

A: Almost a day.

Q: What were your resolutions?

A: I’d rather not get into details. Let’s just say they addressed my yearning for fitness, financial independence, personal excellence, less clutter and fewer dental procedures.

Q: So you wanted to lose weight?

A: Sure. But that was just going to be part of a bold transformation.

Q: What was your undoing?

A: Pie. And the realization that no longer suffering fools gladly would make it impossible for me to function at my workplace.

Q: Did you have a strategy?

A: Of course. For instance, I calculated that I could save 7,500 hours between now and April by no longer paying any attention to basketball.

Q: What happened?

A: There was a good game on.

Q: So were you thinking of training for Bloomsday or something?

A: Nothing so mundane. I wanted to reinvent myself in such a way as to become dynamically proactive, assertive without being a jerk, confident in every situation, and endlessly having to tell female admirers, “You know, that sounds intriguing, but I’m married.”

Q: What does “dynamically proactive” mean?

A: I’m not sure. My point is I had resolved to stop living in fear, stop playing it safe and walk with my head up — calmly determined to leave nothing in my wake but ripples of respect.

Q: But then you had some pie?

A: It was Dutch apple. That was just a symptom of my nagging inability to throw off the shackles of mediocrity.

Q: What if you are already an OK guy?

A: But you see, that’s the problem. Too many people in Spokane are satisfied with the status quo or gradualism.

Q: And with the idea that having a piece of pie doesn’t make you a failure?

A: You’re missing the point.

Q: Well, why don’t you take another run at sticking to your resolutions?

A: Because there’s a good game coming on.

Today’s Slice question: After you slipped and fell, when did you realize you were injured?