“As we toiled upward through dense jungle, we came upon one of the sorriest looking villages in the history of mankind,” the late James Michener said back in 1970, recalling a World War II experience. “It was composed of a dozen, abandoned lean-to shacks, and we could spot which had belonged to the chieftain, because it had a roof of flattened-out tins.

“For some reason I never knew, someone had posted on the edge of this desolate place a hand-lettered signboard: ‘This is Bali H’ai.’ “I remembered … jotting the name down with the conviction that, if I ever wanted to write about the South Pacific, I would use this godforsaken place as an example of how men lived in malarial solitude.”

Of course, thanks to Michener’s 1948 book “Tales of the South Pacific,” the name Bali H’ai has become synonymous with paradise.

Loose talk

NBC sitcom star Jenny McCarthy discussing her passion for Deepak Chopra and “The Celestine Prophecy”: “People don’t see this side of me. They don’t know I read, like, 800 million spirituality books.”

She wears ‘Angel’ costumes every day but Halloween

Jaclyn Smith turns 50 today.

‘Stop the Insanity!’ of quick-fix marketeers

Fitness terrorist Susan Powter, 39, encouraged others to “Stop the Insanity!” of endless dieting. Now, she warns of another madness: alcoholism.

In her latest book, “Sober … Staying that Way,” Powter says booze depletes the body of nutrients. She’s also offering - surprise! - a line of vitamins.

But beware: Nutritionists say Powter’s previous book - “Food” - was “riddled with outdated information, errors of omission and factual mistakes.”

Perhaps she’d rather he pandered to ‘This Week’

Veteran ABC newswoman and syndicated columnist Cokie Roberts thinks Al Gore made a big mistake in praising Ellen DeGeneres in a recent speech to a group of Hollywood movers and shakers.

“What got the Democrats in trouble for many, many years was the appearance that they were pandering to special interests,” says Roberts. “Clinton and Gore got away from that, and moved more toward the mainstream. (Gore’s speech) looked just like, well, ‘I’m in California now, who do I need to play to to win the primary.”’

No word on which list George Washington ended up

John F. Kennedy Jr.’s “political” magazine, George, is out with its list of Washington’s Best and Worst Dressed.

Among the women at the top of the best-dressed list: Madeleine Albright, Olympia Snowe and Katharine Graham. The worst-dressed women include Sandra Day O’Connor, Miss Manners Judith Martin and Mary Matalin.

Among the best-dressed men are Sen. John Warner , R-Va., Vernon Jordan and Ben Bradlee; among the worst are Sen. Ben Nighthorse-Campbell, R-Colo., and Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Michael Guilfoil