Dear Annie: Last year, my 92-year-old mother came to live with us. It was a huge adjustment, and we have made many changes in our lifestyle and living space. Mom has been diagnosed with short-term memory loss and mild dementia. She also has some health issues. But she is very sweet and can carry on a coherent conversation.

Recently, some friends spent time with us. The husband insisted that my mother is more aware than my husband and I give her credit for. But he is not here when she forgets to turn the water off, puts aluminum pans in the microwave and cancels her insurance coverage. He wasn’t here when she started a fire.

I want to tell everyone who thinks they know more than the caretakers: You don’t live in the home with the elderly parent and do not know the whole story. – The Daughter

Dear Daughter: Some people feel an overwhelming need to display their “knowledge,” even when they are ill-informed. It is not as flattering to them as they may believe.

Dear Annie: As an otolaryngologist, I could not overlook the letter from “Native New Yorker” about a hoarse and gravelly voice. While “Native” did not ask for advice about the voice, I would like to tell readers who have unexplained hoarseness existing for two weeks or more to have their vocal cords examined by an ENT doctor. The problem may be quite correctable, or it may be a sign of cancer of the larynx. – Illinois Otolaryngologist