Dear Annie: My cousin is getting married soon and another cousin’s girlfriend was invited. They have been dating for years, and I really like her. The problem is, my boyfriend was not invited, even though we, too, have been dating for years. A lot of that was long distance, so many of my family members have not yet met him.

When I received my wedding invitation, it was addressed only to me. I was wondering whether it would be rude to ask my cousin whether I could bring my boyfriend. I don’t want to create any problems, but this would be the first family event that my boyfriend could attend and I’d like everyone to meet him.

If he cannot attend, I will still go and make sure my cousin’s special day is perfect. – Don’t Want to Cause Tension

Dear Don’t: We commend you for being understanding. It is generally expected that both parties of an established couple are invited, but we double-checked with Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute, who said it is not proper for you to ask. Your cousin apparently didn’t know that your relationship was steady and ongoing and the couple may not have felt obligated to include someone they didn’t know. They also may not have room.

We think it would be a good idea if you found a way to introduce your boyfriend to your cousin before the wedding. Perhaps the two of you could take the bridal couple out to dinner. You might also consider having a small party to introduce him to your relatives so they have an opportunity to get to know him.