Bad, worse, worst, worsted

“Gigli,” as Ben Affleck tells us half a dozen times, “rhymes with really.” And, don’t worry, I’m not going to make the obvious crack. As in, “Gigli” is really, really bad. No, I’m above that.

What I want to say is this: I have a friend, a movie critic for Spokane Public Radio , who loves to talk in superlatives. As in, “This is the worst film of the summer,” or “This is the worst film of the year” or even “This is one of the worst films ever made.” No argument. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.

But there’s a problem with superlatives. When you’re always labeling everything you don’t like as the “worst” thing you’ve seen, then where do you go when you see something really, really bad? As in “Gigli.” Do you just lump it together with all the other “worst” films ever made? Or do you come up with new terms?

As in, “Gigli” — which stars Affleck and his squeeze of the moment, Jennifer Lopez — is the “most worst” film ever made. Or maybe, “Gigli” is the “baddest worst” film ever made. Or, simply, “Gigli” is the “worstest” film ever made.

I don’t know. You tell me.