The Slice: Grandkids no fans of Dr. Phil

Now there’s more evidence that television can be bad for children.

Joyce Nowacki has a 9-year-old granddaughter named Tamara. And whenever Joyce is heading off to a store, Tamara specifies what she wants her grandmother to purchase for her.

Well, on one such recent occasion, Joyce told the little girl that TV’s Dr. Phil said parents and grandparents buy too much stuff for kids nowadays.

Tamara weighed this chilling assessment. Then she offered her own icy words of wisdom for Grandma Joyce.

“You watch way too much Dr. Phil.”

“Read all about it: People who work at newspapers spend a lot of time talking about what to put on the front page. The discussions go on and on.

The thing is, the notion of an ideal Page One was perfected long ago. It happened on May 8th, 1933, to be precise.

That day, the Spokane Daily Chronicle led with a banner headline. It shouted: “BEER ANY TIME, ANY PLACE IN SPOKANE.”

Seen any front pages lately that top that?

That newspaper was being sold on eBay.

The story in question dealt with allowing restaurants and groceries to sell the aforementioned beverage. But in a way, the details almost don’t matter.

Colliding as it does with the image of staid, starched Spokane, “BEER ANY TIME …” is delicious.

Even if the headline writer was going for an alarmist tone, it’s still great.

As long as there’s no fluoride involved, maybe people here would embrace that headline as a new city slogan. Can’t you just see it on the “Entering Spokane” signs?

“Reader rant: “My pet peeve is radio and TV announcers who don’t know the difference between adjectives and adverbs,” wrote Jim Roeber. “Like the Spokane radioman whose favorite line seems to be, ‘The traffic is running smoooooth on the freeway.’ “

Roeber wonders whatever became of the missing “ly.”

“It’s no wonder our kids don’t talk good no more.”

“Party animals: Six-year-old Sophia Melcher isn’t wild about the symbols currently employed by the leading national political parties.

She thinks the Democrats ought to dump the donkey and adopt the llama.

And instead of an elephant, she thinks the Republicans ought to use a pelican.

“Overheard on the River Park Square escalator (one elevenish boy to another): “Do you have to marry a mail-order bride?”

“Spotted in Coeur d’Alene: A bald guy in a convertible who had so much sunblock on his head he looked like he was slathered in dessert topping.

Um, why not just wear a hat? Maybe he’s tried and it keeps blowing off.

“This week at Expo ‘74: Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Tickets $5.

“Today’s Slice question: What’s the surest sign that the new people moving in next door are going to be a nightmare?