The Slice: Some Olympians are sure knockouts

WELCOME TO THE SLICE’S Olympics-watching preview. Here are the sports with athletes who have bodies that make you think, “I’ll bet he’d/she’d look great in any outfit.”

1. Swimming. 2. Gymnastics (men). 3. Track (sprints). 4. Volleyball. 5. Rowing.

•Slice answers: “Sporting a full beard for the last 20 years has drastically changed the way I eat an ice cream cone,” wrote Jeff Brown. “Traditional ways are impossible. More ice cream winds up on my face than in my mouth. But observers do seem to enjoy watching a man eat an ice cream cone with a spoon.”

When Marjorie Carper was a child, it wasn’t often that her family could afford ice cream cones. So, when she did get to have one, she had a strategy for making it last longer.

She would bite off the bottom and then suck the ice cream through this new opening.

Well, one time she bit off the bottom and discovered a spider in with the ice cream.

Now, of course, there was no cause-and-effect relationship between her cone-consuming approach and the spider’s presence. Still, after that, Carper opted for more traditional cone-eating styles.

•While we’re on the subject: What would you call spider-flavored ice cream?

Black widow chunk? Arachnids ‘n’ cream? Walnut web? Bugs Garcia? Spidey fudge?

•People assume they know how you are going to vote if…: You read The New York Times.

You regard the Bible as the word of God.

You are a married woman who kept her own last name.

You drive a vehicle that is at one extreme or the other in terms of fuel efficiency.

You watch Fox news.

You feel guilty about playing golf.

You are a man with a ponytail.

You belong to the NRA.

You support the ACLU.

You are gay.

You think Merle Haggard’s “Fightin’ Side of Me” pretty much said it all.

You wish things could be more like they used to be.

You consider yourself an artist.

You wouldn’t call a Ph.D. “doctor” even if someone held a gun to your head.

•Slice answer: “I would like to have someone behind my back say, ‘Hey, buddy, you dropped your wallet’ and return it to me,” wrote Mike Carlson. “Other than that, I don’t really care what they say.”

•This week at Expo ‘74: Charley Pride, at the Opera House. Two shows. Tickets, $4.50-$6.50.

•Warm-up question: What do you suspect is the main reason people watch “JAG”?

•Today’s Slice question: When you are about to toss back a handful of pills or vitamins that have the potential to trigger your gag reflex, what do you think about to distract yourself from possible swallowing problems?