The Slice: Remember: One bad apple doesn’t always lead to another

An untold number of Washington residents have a dirty little secret. They never eat apples.

It’s too bad, really. Because many of these folks swore off the state-symbol fruit after one too many encounters with a mushy red delicious. And today, the apple world offers lots of appealing alternatives.

What’s your favorite?

“This is what it has come to: Theft of flowers placed by headstones in local cemeteries has reached the point where, in at least one case The Slice heard about, relatives of the deceased posted a sign that essentially requests that people resist the urge to behave like soulless scum.

“Just wondering: How many Spokane drivers learned to operate a clutch in the parking lot of the Newport 8 theater?

“Celebrity look-alikes: Cheney’s Kelly Reinlasoder, a big guy, has been said to resemble the late John Candy. In fact, when one particular movie was new, a little kid in a grocery store spotted Reinlasoder and yelled, “Look, Daddy. It’s Uncle Buck!”

People used to tell Bruce Howard that he looked like Timothy Hutton. Now they say he resembles Gene Hackman. “But I’ve never heard anyone say that, as he got older, people thought Timothy Hutton looked like Gene Hackman,” said Howard.

Kathy Altieri said several strangers have told her she looks like Susan Sarandon.

And Ritzville’s Karen Meye said her daughter Michele, who lives in Seattle, looks like Julia Roberts. “She gets stopped in the supermarket and asked for autographs,” wrote Meye.

I wonder if anyone has ever told her that Lyle Lovett was too good for her.

“Massaging the message: Julie Lassiter’s 8-year-old nephew heard a familiar radio commercial featuring the phrase “two good guys.”

But he thought it was “goo-goo guys.”

Hmmm. You know, after you’ve heard a commercial a million times, you start to tune it out. So maybe they’ve changed it and that’s what it really says now.

“Just goo-goo guys who like to sell tires.”

“Slice answers: A reader named John responded to the question, “What does your ex say about you?”

John guessed his ex says, “Who?”

And in the matter of dropping something through a crack, Nan Compton spilled a film canister full of commemorative state quarters on her back deck. A bunch of the coins rolled around and fell down into the tight space beneath the deck. (Compton’s daughter eventually found a way to retrieve them.)

“Turnabout: The Slice told you about the little girl who referred to her bikini as a zucchini. Well, Addie Neufeld’s granddaughter calls zucchini bread “bikini” bread.

“Today’s Slice question: What happened when you lost your cell phone and called its number in an attempt to track it down?