The Slice: This friendship will bite you in the end

Yes, yellow jackets are the gardener’s friend. They munch on several common insect pests.

But don’t get carried away with affection for our all-natural ally in the battle against aphids.

It’s a bad idea, for instance, to pet yellow jackets. Also, don’t give them nicknames like “Skippy” or “Scooter” or invite them in to watch landscaping shows with you.

And don’t worry about the need to notify them before a backyard cookout. Yellow jackets assume that they’ve got a standing invitation.

•Slice answers: “If the Inland Northwest had its own currency, you would never know what it is called,” said Joe Algeo. “People here are too tight with it.”

Lesley Haskell suggested that the local monetary unit would be known as “the coug.”

“That’ll be three cougs for the coffee, please.”

Keri Yirak proposed “the huckleberry” or “the lentil.”

•Milliseconds of Deep Stupidity Department: Patty Bozarth was buying ear tags for her cows. “They are like huge pierced earrings,” she wrote.

The numbered tags have a back and front. And as anyone familiar with fastening devices knows, the connecting parts of a coupling are sometimes labeled “male” and “female.”

Well, Bozarth saw the word “female” and it made her wonder. “I asked the sales guy if I could use them for my bulls,” she said.

It didn’t take her long to see through her own momentary confusion. “Was my face red.”

•Done and done: “I thought it would be a good idea to impart some culinary skills to my college-bound son over the summer,” wrote Peggy Arendt.

So they cooked a chicken. It was her son’s first experience with pop-up timers.

He said, “So they’re putting anti-theft devices in these things now too, huh.”

•Spokane pollster Bill Robinson’s term for people pretending to be homeless: “fauxbos.”

•Southpaw struggles, continued: “In 1926, when I was in first grade in Minnesota, the teacher, in her infinite wisdom, tied my left hand behind my back and made me learn to use my right hand for writing,” wrote Merle Halsted.

That teacher thought being left-handed was akin to mental illness. But all she managed to do was leave Halsted with shaky handwriting.

Fritz Howard had a similar experience growing up in Spokane.

•Today’s Slice question: What signal do the front-line people answering phones at your business send? A) “I’m so bored.” B) “You’re interrupting me.” C) “Just send the money.” D) “I care about our customers.” E) “Don’t know, don’t care.” F) “Hey, I just work here.” G) “I can’t wait to transfer your butt to some phone-mail wasteland.” H) “Quality is a slogan.” I) “I’m faking my cheerfulness.” J) “Whatever.” K) “The answer is ‘No.’ ” L) “I’m going to help you.”