The Slice: Key to cool is Birthday Bunch test

NIKKI SAUSER HAS figured out a quick and easy way to determine how with it (or out of it) you are. Here’s what you do: Go to the People Etc. column on page 2 of this section. Find the “Birthday bunch.” That’s where celebrities’ birthdays are listed, starting with the oldest. Then see which ones you’ve actually heard of.

Sauser suggested that people truly in tune with pop culture should be able to identify those singers and actors down on the young end of that list.

“Some days I get almost to the bottom, and then I think about making an appointment to have my navel pierced and my hair spiked purple,” wrote Sauser, a grandmother. “Today, I only recognized the first two out of eight, so I’m considering checking out nursing homes and funeral plans.”

“ Slice answers: The 1974 song “Radar Love” by Golden Earring makes Shelley Davis drive too fast.

For Mike Almond, it’s Rush’s “Red Barchetta” from 1981.

“ Loyal Dogs Department: Once, about 25 years ago, a door-to-door salesman would not take “no” for an answer.

“I was at home with my two small daughters,” said Kristy Bennett. “I told him I wasn’t interested and attempted to close the door.”

But the salesman thrust his foot in the way. This action caused the door to fly wide open.

“Big mistake,” said Bennett.

The family’s 60-pound Doberman, Gretchen, sized up the situation and shifted into home-defense mode. The dog pushed past Bennett and grabbed hold of the salesman’s pants zipper.

“As far as I could tell, she didn’t catch any flesh,” said Bennett. “But she held fast to that zipper until I called her off.”

When Gretchen released him, the salesman ran away.

Here’s another story. Back around 1995, Willene Wick got pulled over by a Washington State Patrol officer. She had been speeding.

Wick attempted to project a sweet, demure presence — a ticket-dodging strategy she had seen effectively employed by her aunt. But the image of utter innocence had to compete with a racket coming from the back seat. Wick’s dachshund was barking its head off.

The amused officer said, “I think that dog would like to hurt me.”

Finally, Wick had to turn around and shout, “Wolfgang, shut up!”

The state patrolman was so tickled by the little dog’s name that he closed up his ticket-book and let Wick off with a warning.

“ Parenting on parade: After watching several families of geese out on Medical Lake, Bill Allison found himself wishing that all human parents were as attentive as the adult birds.

“ Warm-up question: Could you be romantically interested in someone who owned a boat with a ridiculous name?

“ Today’s Slice question: What three occupations guarantee that people in those fields will get to know the real Spokane?