The Slice: Come home, big fella

Maybe it’s time for our woolly mammoth to come home.

As you might know, the fossilized remains of one of these magnificent creatures were unearthed in southern Spokane County in the late 1800s. They wound up in the Field Museum in Chicago.

For years, this skeletal treasure was displayed in an exhibition there called “Life Over Time.”

But that public showing has been closed for renovation. A museum spokeswoman said it will not reopen until 2006.

That’s fine, I suppose. Museums have a right to shuffle their lineups now and then.

Here’s the thing, though. A few years ago, that same museum made a big splash with a dinosaur fossil named Sue. So I asked the Field’s spokeswoman if the mothballed woolly mammoth has a name.

“The mammoth does not have a name,” she wrote back. “Sue is our only fossil with a human name.”

For some reason, that makes me sad. Do the folks in Illinois really appreciate the Northwest native in their midst?

If the mammoth migrated home to Spokane, area school kids could compete to name it.

Admit it. Wouldn’t it make you smile to stand before that huge hometown Elephas columbi and read that its name is Caitlin or Justin?

•Asked and answered: Q: Could you imagine becoming romantically involved with someone who owns a boat with a ridiculous name?

A: “Depends on the size of the boat.” — Carol Woodward

•This date in Slice column history (1996): World’s largest hairball.

•Slice answers: Rick Haglund, 53, has been the best man at six weddings.

He has stood up for one guy three different times, another man twice and a third fellow once.

And Steve Haynes said that if he actually resembled his driver’s license photo, his nickname would be Father Guido Sarducci (of “Saturday Night Live” fame).

•Vows venues: “I do not live in Spokane but I am planning my wedding for this fall there and would like some ideas,” wrote Moscow, Idaho, resident Dakota S. Smith.

Chiefly, she’s interested in Slice readers’ answers to one question: “Where is the most romantic place to get married in Spokane?”

•More Slice answers: Rebecca Lind reported that she has, over the years, heard nine foreign languages being spoken on the boardwalk in Coeur d’Alene.

Dan Keenan, Deborah Lawrence Hale and several other readers said Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird” is their role model.

Several parks, school neighborhoods and one golf course were mentioned as being home to the area’s most flagrant marijuana smoking.

And, according to many of those answering yet another question, police officers and nurses are the people who get to know the real Spokane.

•Today’s Slice question: What’s the secret to being organized?