The Slice: Hopefully they looked both ways

I’ve seen cats cross Grand Boulevard. And I have seen ducks traverse that busy street.

But earlier this week, during a lull in traffic, I saw a cat and two ducks cross Grand together.

OK, they weren’t really travel companions. But they were in close proximity.

Fortunately, the feline pretty much ignored the slow-moving waterfowl.

Still, I would have felt better if they all had waited for a crossing guard.

“Flashback to Friday: Certain Spokane drivers slamming through flooded intersections demonstrated that … A) They thought pickups can double as personal watercraft. B) They are not bright people. C) They’ve never heard of flooded brakes being rendered useless. D) They were going “Wheeeeeeee!” E) They thought this was their chance to “go to the lake.”

“Underappreciated summertime skills:

1. Speaking fluent yellowjacket.

2. Complimenting someone on burned burgers in a convincing way.

3. Reciting only little-known lines from old movies when wielding a squirt gun.

4. Collapsing in a heap when hit by a pitch in Wiffle ball.

5. Appearing to be serious when insisting on absolute quiet before putting in miniature golf.

6. Starting an anecdote “When this song first came out…” and then telling a story that’s actually interesting.

7. Having the patience to teach someone to swim.

8. Keeping track of who has already heard your drive-in movie tale.

9. Tuning out ice-cream truck jingles.

10. Being a likable iced-tea snob.

“Slice answers: In the matter of things that could never be said about Spokane, answers ranged from “That it’s diverse” and “That it’s friendly” to “That it is fully appreciated.”

Regarding the question of whether women can tell when a guy is holding his stomach in, Neil Lindsey had an answer. “Yes,” he said. “When his pants fall to his knees.”

Lou Sachse suggested that blue lips (from holding one’s breath) is another giveaway.

The Sunburn Arms and the Whimsical Pig made both “best” and “worst” lists in a reader poll on local apartment complex names. “People look at you funny when you talk about having lived at the Pig,” wrote Tori Bailey.

Sally Gardner came up with a localized takeoff on that Deadwood, S.D., tourism slogan: “Richard Nixon visited Spokane in 1974. He should have stayed.”

And a reader who wished to remain anonymous said one downside to Spokane’s low humidity is the increased temptation to engage in nose-picking.

“This date in Slice column history (1997): Women shopping for men’s swimsuits.

“Today’s Slice question: Is the local focus on outdoor recreation in backcountry settings the reason there aren’t more bike paths, walking trails and such in our urban areas?