The Slice: Problem citizens? Cash talks

Back in the late ‘80s, someone came up with a bold idea for taking pressure off the overcrowded jails in the District of Columbia.

Why not ship some inmates off to another city where there was a corrections facility with extra room and just pay for that service? Yes, that destination city was Spokane.

As I recall, the plan never got far. There were objections both here and back in Washington, D.C.

But every once in a while I find myself thinking there might have been some merit to that concept. I mean, it might be a good thing if other cities paid Spokane to temporarily host a few of its problem citizens. We could use the money.

Just think. Say there’s a city somewhere struggling to improve the productivity of its workforce. Maybe the problem is that men and women there pay too much attention to dressing up and wearing stylish clothes.

Well, a few hundred of these fops and dandies could be shipped off to Spokane for a month or so. Before you know it, they’d be wearing jeans to the office and showing up at important meetings in sweatshirts and sneakers.

Or say there’s a city hoping to rid its municipal managers of free-spending ways that make budgeting a nightmare. They could be temporarily “adopted” by bargain-loving Spokane families who would school them in the skinflint arts.

By the time they got back to their hometown, those visitors would be buying in bulk, demanding discounts and pronouncing any and all retail prices “spendy.”

The only limit here is our imaginations. Spokane could bill itself as one big consultancy.

Warehousing another city’s convicted felons didn’t work out. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other services we could provide.

“Slice answers (finding a hygienic substitute for the handshake during colds and flu season): “This is so easy,” wrote Peggy Luke of Newport. “My Navy son came out of basic training with the two thumbs-up signal that everything is OK. I find myself using it now and then.”

And she thinks everybody could get into the habit.

Debi Zander proposed “A kiss on both cheeks” as the substitute.

In Spokane? Sacre bleu.

“Slice answer (memorable political encounters): In 1961, then 8-year-old Karlene Hyer heard Richard Nixon give a speech. He later gave her an autographed picture of himself.

“I took the photo to school,” wrote Hyer. “But before I could share it during show-and-tell, it was ripped up by a staunch third-grade Democrat and possible foreseer of the future.”

“Slice answer (squirrels/traffic carnage): Judging from their impressive survival rate when scampering across adjacent streets, Lynn Everson thinks the squirrels in Browne’s Addition’s Coeur d’Alene Park are the area’s smartest.

“Today’s Slice question: Has anyone having breakfast at a restaurant ever been served scrambled eggs exactly the way he or she wanted them?