The Slice: Apparently, their line was busy

The folks at the St. Vincent de Paul store realized a staff cell phone was missing.

So they called the errant phone’s number.

A woman answered. She explained that her son “found” it on the roof of a car outside the store. Asked to return it, the woman hemmed and hawed and finally explained, “We’re not done using it yet.”

“She seriously said that,” said office manager LaLa Gerber.

They had that phone’s service shut off.

“It’s not like it sounds: Hayden’s Diane Turner teaches swimming classes.

And one day the father of one of her students happened to encounter Turner in a store. After recognizing her, he said, “You look different in clothing.”

“Which two words prompt greater skepticism: Runs great or rustic charm?

“Here, there and everywhere: After not seeing enough Volkswagens to make playing “Slug Bug” reliably entertaining, a North Idaho family The Slice heard about came up with a variation on the classic car-travel game. Instead of punching fellow riders in the shoulder upon spotting a VW, contestants socked one another when they saw a driver yakking on a cell phone.

But that quickly became such a donnybrook that the game had to be halted.

“Slice answer: Linda Jack’s mixed-breed basset hound, Hairiette, likes to sing along with the recorded song stylings of blues great Etta James.

“It may be that she’s heard it often enough,” said Jack. “But it may be that it’s in the right key for her.”

The musical dog also accompanies ZZ Top and B.B. King.

“Re: listening to college football on the radio: “I am not a huge fan of WSU football (I root for the Vandals),” wrote Sara Barker of Moscow. “But nothing makes me swoon like hearing Bob Robertson’s voice calling a game for the Cougs. I’ll turn on a WSU game just to listen to his voice.”

(Remember, guys, the quality of the announcer’s voice is the key here. Don’t assume that anyone could woo women by whispering, “I can’t believe there wasn’t a penalty against USC on that play.”)

“The Slice recommends: The breakfast potatoes at the Bite Me cafe.

“Today’s memorable teacher: Pat Holland had always been called “Patsy.”

Then she arrived for the first day of sixth grade at Audubon School back in the 1950s and met Mrs. Vivian Sherman.

“Today we will call you Pat,” said the teacher. “It is more mature.”

That was fine with Holland, who grew to adore Mrs. Sherman and regarded her as a role model when she herself became a teacher.

“Warm-up question for cashiers: What’s your favorite fake I.D. story?

“Today’s Slice question: Have you ever owned a car that practically turned unreliability into performance art?