The Slice: Let’s hope this Bloomie wasn’t still running

Talk about long ago and far away. Spokane’s Amy Nelson spent part of the summer working as a church missionary among the Bena Bena people in a highland region of Papua New Guinea. While watching a rugby match involving players from that area, the 21-year-old Nelson noticed one of them wore a 1989 Bloomsday T-shirt.

“ An apple a day …: “Helps keep you in play.” — Deanna Schneider

“And in the outhouse I stay.” — Verna Hoffman

“Costs a lot nowadays.” — Gordon Erickson

“One day led Adam astray.” — Colleen Kelley

“And the maggots will pray.” — Don P. Johnson

“Will knock those baby teeth right out of a 6-year-old’s mouth.” — Crystal Read

“Keeps the farm subsidies lobbies at bay.” — Steve Peck

“Will soon become a bushel of apples this way.” — Neil Lindsey

“Is not a banana.” — Marje Peterson

“Won’t change his (lover’s) ways.” — Lore Banks

“Would make me unemployed.” — Melissa Bothum (who works in a doctor’s office)

Others referred to acid reflux, constipation, the Grim Reaper, The S-R and, well, the list goes on. But I’m declaring Peter G. Williams of Spokane the winner, for pairing fruit and the desire to maintain our sometimes tenuous grasp on sanity.

“An apple a day keeps the voices at bay.”

“ Tips for your first yard sale: Several readers noted the need to have a policy for dealing with those who will show up well before the posted starting time.

A couple of callers said it’s almost inevitable that you will need to have more change on hand than you expect.

One reader said the first-timer should plan on emerging from the experience more cynical about manners and society.

And Rob Golden, Pat Shelley and others said “Don’t do it.” They recommended donating the items you want to shed to Goodwill, Arc of Spokane or some similar agency.

In lieu of that, you might want to listen to Clarene Haynie of Odessa.

“Have your ‘merchandise’ clean, organized and priced,” she wrote. “Have signs on the street corners printed in large, block letters ….

” ‘Miscellaneous’ in your ad is not a big draw. List your items by category: books, small appliances, linens, antiques and collectibles, tools, fishing gear, furniture, etc.”

“ Today’s Slice question: Which would you most like to hear in a local TV news story tonight?

A) “Hopped up on fair food.” B) “Neighbors agreed he is a loud jerk.” C) “The suspect is said to be a nondescript male.” D) “She reportedly snapped when a sportscaster misused the word ‘opportunistic.’ ” E) “The man police arrested said his next-door neighbor started his diesel pickup at 5 a.m. and left it running for 45 minutes.”