Headlines @ Closin’ Time (4/1/05)

* Fox News erroneously says pope died: Networks scramble amid conflicting reports from Italian media /Associated Press — Why is it important to beat another news organization by 5 minutes? The Drudge Report missed this one, too.

* No jail time for Sandy Berger: Prosecutors to recommend $10,000 fine for taking classified documents /WorldNetDaily — If Martha could cool her heels for a few months in the slammer, this bum should, too. What’s the disincentive for stealing classified material?

* Doctors complete Schiavo autopsy: Final report expected to take several weeks /MSNBC — Will Michael Schiavo be allowed to keep that from the rest of the family, too?

* Volunteers register to patrol Arizona-Mexico border for illegal immigrants and smugglers /Associated Press — A recipe for disaster.

* Openly gay Cheney daughter writing memoir /Associated Press — Betcha Daddy isn’t sleep well at night.