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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: She’s got a definite hang up

A 2½-year-old girl named Olivia has come up with the perfect motto for this decade. Here’s the story.

Olivia was visiting her grandmother, Liz Hively, who lives south of Deer Park. The two of them were on their way out the door to feed a treat to a horse named Cocoa.

The phone rang. “So I answered it and started, I thought, a brief conversation as my granddaughter danced around with the carrot tops,” wrote Hively, who teaches at Chattaroy Elementary.

But that conversation dragged on. Olivia grew impatient. She stood still and looked up at Hively.

“Grandma, stop the phone,” she said.

And Hively quickly hung up.

Maybe a lot of us should try saying that.

•She’s got Russell Crowe playing the strong mayor: Just for fun, Slice reader Kim Middleton has started casting a made-for-TV Jim West movie. But anyone can play that game. What would you title the movie?

•Jim Clanton’s policy when he goes for his early morning run: “Skunks and porcupines ALWAYS have the right of way.”

•Misspeaking: When Susan York’s stepdaughter was 4, the little girl came home from preschool and acted out a poem she had learned. At one point she made little circles with her forefingers and thumbs, placed them around her eyes and said, “And these are Grandma’s testicles.”

She probably meant “spectacles.”

“For the past 18 years, you know what we have called our eyeglasses,” wrote York.

And Sue Fischer knew a woman who, when asked about the identity of a yellow bush that blooms in the spring, said, “Oh, that’s syphilis — everyone has it.”

•Finish this sentence: It would appear that most people in Spokane subscribe to the shared myth that….

•Slice reader Bill Mahaney’s all-time favorite TV shows (in alphabetical order): “All in the Family,” “Frasier,” “Hallmark Hall of Fame,” “Have Gun Will Travel,” “Life Goes On,” “M*A*S*H,” “Masterpiece Theatre,” “60 Minutes,” “The Tonight Show (with Johnny Carson),” “West Wing.”

•Slice reader Greg Cicero’s all-time favorite movies (no particular order): “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” “L.A. Confidential,” “Animal House,” “American Beauty,” “The Wizard of Oz,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Goodfellas,” “The Maltese Falcon,” “It Happened One Night,” “The Godfather (Parts I and II).”

•Warm-up questions: Who has stayed here the longest after moving to this area thinking it would be for just a year or two? What group of lunch-companion co-workers is most sharply divided about the appeal of Pig Out in the Park? Are people whose job performance is evaluated on the basis of objective criteria happier than those who are evaluated subjectively?

•Today’s Slice question: What were the circumstances when you split your pants?

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