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The Slice: Some drivers muscle snow with SUVs

Chris DeForest has a theory. Some won’t like it.

“Casual observation suggests that possession of an SUV or mighty pickup absolves one from clearing one’s sidewalk, since the owner can just plow through the snow (and often park half-blocking the sidewalk),” he wrote. “Put another way, it looks like people with normal cars are more civic-minded and neighborly in this respect — as far as shoveling their sidewalk so John Q. Public can use it.”

DeForest acknowledged, however, that the folks living near him who own SUVs and big pickups tend to challenge his hypothesis with consistently considerate sidewalk-clearing behavior.

“It’s when I get a block or two from home that the correlation seems to appear.”

“The flame of Calvinism: A woman at Mary Ann Barney’s church was trying to light an Advent candle during a recent service. But the wick refused to catch fire.

Eventually a well-meaning bystander approached with supplemental matches. Another person held the Advent wreath steady while attempts to light the stubborn candle continued.

Yet another individual removed the brass collar from the candle to see if that would help.

And then, just as the flame finally got going, a member of the congregation called out, “How many Presbyterians does it take to light a candle?”

“Slice answer (mistletoe stories): Gayle Fulton and a male co-worker had been dispatched to buy supplies for an after-work party. She secretly had a crush on him.

When he wasn’t looking, she bought a little package of mistletoe.

Then, on the way to the site of the party, she instructed him to pull the car over.

“What for?” he asked.

“Just pull over,” she said.

He complied. So there they were, sitting in the front seat of a 1969 Mustang.

Fulton pulled out the package of mistletoe and said, “Now kiss me.”

He did.

That was on Dec. 24, 1974. “And we have been together ever since,” she wrote.

“For the record: Spokane’s Kevin Drohan has had his “chisoxfan” e-mail address for years. So if you hear from him, do not assume you are dealing with some soulless cipher who jumped on the baseball bandwagon.

“Slice answer: “There is no doubt that our son Dan’s dog, Teddy, is the preschooler who loves snow the most,” wrote Jennie Groenig.

“Warm-up question: What private little game do you play in your head while scanning the photos of the newlyweds in IN Life?

A) “It won’t last.” B) “She’s pretty good-looking — I’ll bet they don’t live in Spokane.” C) “I think I can tell who’s going to wear the pants in that family.” D) Other.

“Today’s Slice question: What was the most problem-plagued children’s Christmas pageant in Inland Northwest history?

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