The Slice: When year ends in ‘6,’ expect some horrible licks

I don’t wish to be an alarmist. But we are lurching toward a year that ends in the numeral “6.” And if you don’t realize what that means, I’ll tell you.

In all likelihood, we are in for some unbelievably annoying pop songs.

Consider the evidence.

The year 1956 gave us “Que Sera, Sera” by Doris Day and “See You Later, Alligator” by Bill Haley and the Comets.

You say those songs don’t bother you? OK, well how about Perry Como’s “Hot Diggity” or any one of Pat Boone’s 400 hits that year.

Now let’s consider 1966. A look at the pop music charts from that year shows that there were quite a few terrific songs. But there was also “Winchester Cathedral” by The New Vaudeville Band.

If that simpering crime against culture is now stuck in your head, I apologize. But I had to show you that I’m not just kidding around here. Sorry.

And, politics and sentiment aside, does anyone think “The Ballad of the Green Berets” holds up as a piece of music?

Reasonable people can disagree about Roger Williams’ “Born Free” and “Hanky Panky” by Tommy James and the Shondells. But if we leap ahead to 1976, I think you will have to concede that I’ve got a point.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “Silly Love Songs,” by Paul McCartney and Wings.

If you weren’t in John Lennon’s camp before that little number, you had to be leaning that way after hearing it for the trillionth time.

And how about Wild Cherry’s unforgettable “Play That Funky Music”?

Play that funky music, white boy

Play that funky music right

No. Please. Don’t.

There’s more, so much more.

The year 1976, a bicentennial that will live in pop-chart infamy, also gave us “Afternoon Delight” by the Starland Vocal Band, “I Write the Songs” by Barry Manilow and “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen.

Vaulting ahead a decade, we land in the sticky goo of Whitney Houston’s overblown balladry.

Let’s see a show of hands. How many people who played “Greatest Love of All” at their wedding are now divorced?

Hey, don’t feel bad. You tried. It was that song. You were doomed from the start.

The year 1986 also gave us Wang Chung’s “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” and “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins.

Sure, those songs were infectious. But infections aren’t really a good thing.

And what is there to say about 1996?

One word: “Macarena.”

Oh, yeah. It was grim. The biggest-selling artists that year were Alanis Morissette, Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.

Need I say more?

A “6” year is coming. Get ready to turn down the volume.

“Today’s Slice question: Why did you decide to stop sending Christmas cards?