The Slice: Do I make you snorty?

Sure, it can sound gross. But did you know that sinus snorting is actually the Spokane mating call?

Well, during allergy season anyway.

At other times of the year, it’s just drainage management.

•Livestock marketing 101: Five-year-old Garrett Hill told his parents he knew some cows were for sale because they had tags on their ears.

•If you read Thursday’s column, you know how this started: “You can tell Tom Hufty of Liberty Lake that we’ll quit talking about our skyline when they quit calling that pond they live on a lake,” wrote Mike Knecht.

•This date in Slice history (1993): Complete this song lyric: “If I can make it in Spokane, I’ll…”

•Coming up with a substitute for “couch potato”: “Sofa slug” was a popular suggestion. Neil Margoles, Connie Jay, Micky Long, Patricia Chester, Tom Emerson, Sarah J. De Ryan and Roberta Reichelt all nominated that expression.

Here are some of the other ideas submitted by Slice readers.

“Couch cuke.” — Paul Karr

“Couch lout.” — Colleen Kelley

“Couch slouch.” — M. L. Heaton

“Couch ballast.” — Marilyn Trail

“Sofa sloth.” — Hank Greer

“Loveseat pumpkin.” — Janice Wright

“Boob tube boob.” — Kathy Altieri

“Sofa spud.” — Greg Kamer, Suzanne Lonn

“Houseplant.” — Marilyn Rogers

“Sofa slouch.” — Jennie Groenig

“Lounge lentil.” — Marilyn Othmer

“Couch celebrity.” — Jeanette Nolan

“Sofa loaf.” — Linda Baldwin

“Sofa loafa.” — Larry Quine

“Couch bun.” — Sue Foster

“Couch jockey.” — John Petrofski

“Couch warmer.” — Carrie Webbenhurst

And, well, you get the idea.

But I’m declaring Cathy Rubow of Hayden the winner. There was something appealingly no-nonsense about her submission: “Cushion crusher.”

•Just wondering: How ridiculous would inserting your full job title make the following joke-openings sound?

A priest, a rabbi and a (your job title here) …

A (your job title here) walks into a bar and …

So this (your job title here) goes to see a psychiatrist and …

•Hey, kids: You’ve probably never tried to crash a party thrown by baby boomers. I mean, why would you?

But if such an urge should surface one day, there’s something you’ll need to know. It’s called the “Beany and Cecil Code,” and it’s a closely guarded generational secret.

When the gatekeeper at the front door says “R-A-G-G,” your response should be “M-O-P-P.”

Don’t ask. Just enjoy listening to The Who and watching people play “Twister” and “Risk.”

•Today’s Slice question: How often does your boss call the office while away on vacation?