Arrow-right Camera
Subscribe now

This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: Left her feeling blue

How'd you sleep?
 (The Spokesman-Review)

If this were a song, it might be called “Spokane Bedtime Blues.” Susan Guffin saw that some bright blue flannel sheets were on sale at a Spokane discount department store. So she bought them.

“I took them home, washed and dried them, put them on the bed and settled in for the night,” she wrote.

So far, so good.

But in the morning, Guffin awoke to see her husband looking at her with an alarmed expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you all right?”

Guffin rushed to a mirror. “I had become a Smurf,” she said.

So she rewashed the sheets, adding vinegar this time.

She put them back on the bed and later settled in for a good night’s sleep.

“Woke up blue.”

So she took them back to the store. The woman with whom she was dealing did not want to grant an exchange. So the matter was kicked upstairs.

“As we waited for some answer from On High, she mindlessly rubbed the sheets between her own fingers.”

Eventually the store employee looked down to where she was nervously kneading the sheets. She saw her fingers.

“Blue,” said Guffin.

She got the exchange.

“Northwestspeak: Slice reader Nancy Parker cited pronouncing the word “for” as if it were “fur.”

As in, “Spokane residents should get a license fur any dogs or cats they own.”

“Slice answer (picking the color to paint your house): “Like a lot of people, we saw a house and liked the colors,” wrote Carrie Webbenhurst. “So we went to the paint store and got color samples. Then we went up to that house and matched the colors as best we could. Then we painted our house (including the front door) the same colors as that house.”

So if you see strangers standing outside holding color cards up against your home, consider it a compliment.

“INW dogma: “Priest Lake is not a place,” wrote a friend. “It’s a religion.”

OK. I’ll bite. What would be the 10 Commandments?

“How long? Not long: Tuesday’s column asked readers how long it took them to grow weary of the TV commercial for “The Lion King.”

“One time,” wrote Carol Polser.

“It took less than five notes,” wrote Marilyn Othmer.

“After seeing the commercial six times in an hour,” wrote Jennifer Lindsley.

“Let’s all just hope that ‘The Lion King’ sells out soon,” wrote Diana Lawson.

“Accommodating nests: Keri Yirak’s family had to wait for some feathered tenants to move on before screening in a patio.

When coming or going, Judy McKeehan’s family endured verbal abuse from a mother bird that built a nest near a door to a lake place.

“Today’s Slice question: What’s a good way to note the anniversary of the Battle of the Little Bighorn on June 25?

More from this author