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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Put a sock in it, boy


The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
 (The Spokesman-Review)
The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me. (The Spokesman-Review)

Finally, an encyclopedic knowledge of “Animal House” pays off. The scene was last Friday’s televised press conference with the mayor.

Some party-crasher shouted a vulgarism thinly disguised as a cough or throat-clearing.

And fans of the 1978 film instantly knew what had happened.

The guy had pulled a Bluto.

That bizarre moment would have been made perfect if Dean Wormer, er, the mayor or his lawyer had threatened to kick those punks off campus.

“Say what: Joan Burnham of Hayden Lake said the “Lion King” commercials aren’t the only ones that can get old. She grew weary of Silverwood’s “Rollacoasta” commercial even faster. “It even annoys my kids.”

(If you find yourself hearing that 1975 Ohio Players song — “Love Rollercoaster” — in your head all day, just remember: Blame Joan, not me. Better yet, blame Silverwood.)

“This is what it has come to: It’s impossible to know anymore whether someone doesn’t grasp the basic rules of fashion or if some ridiculous look is intentional.

I saw a young woman wearing a sheer black top over a gleaming white bra. The transparency was laughable. But that’s probably what she intended.

“Re: the previous item: What saying or expression — usually preceded by a sigh —did an older relative of yours favor when confronted with such head-shaking evidence of modern life’s quirkiness?

(My late father-in-law used to mutter something that sounded like “Lorda mercy.”)

“Priest Lake Commandments: Dakota Smith offered several.

“What happens at the Lake, STAYS at the Lake.”

“Tanned fat is better than white fat.”

“The West Side rules.”

“Never share your huckleberry patch or morel spot.”

“Swimsuits are optional.”

“Slice answer (if you could use computer commands elsewhere): “I’ve been seriously looking for the ‘undo’ button of life,” wrote Julie Ohlund.

“Wristband campaigns they would support: “Lilac Festival.” — Kim Cohan

“Spay and neuter.” — Kerry Masters

“Hospice of Spokane.” — Neil Lindsey

“Slice answer (choosing the color for the house): Judy Cocking’s family had five gallons of paint left from the time they painted their old house. So, onto the new house it went.

“We saved a bit of money and we still like the color,” she wrote.

“Warm-up question: What are you ignoring in the hope that it will go away?

“Today’s Slice question (fill in the blanks): The Spokane area is full of people who used to be () and almost all of them feel that gives them the right to be hyper-critical of those who still are ().

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