Quick Fix 6 (3/15/05)

Tell me where you’ve heard something like this before: “A former North Carolina dentist accused of using syringes to squirt semen into the mouths of female patients was charged Monday with multiple misdemeanor counts of assault on a female,” according to Local6.com of Central Florida here . Book ‘em, Dan-o.

APhoto Fix: Bernard Ebbers, 63, exits a federal courthouse with his wife Kristie in New York today. Bernard Ebbers, who built WorldCom from a humble Mississippi long-distance firm into a telecommunications titan, was convicted Tuesday of engineering the colossal accounting fraud that sank the company. See Top of the News Fix.

1. Political ‘Toon Fix: Paul Nowak ( Michael Jackson jury ), Chuck Asay ( Terri Schiavo ), and Gary Varvel ( Book reading ).

2. Humor Fix: Dubya & Co. let there hair down at the annual Gridiron Dinner, hosted by Washington’s media elite Saturday. Example: “We have to fix it or Rumsfeld may never retire.” Click here .

3. My Way Fix: This Day in History here , Today’s Birthdays here , and Positive Quote here .

4. Top of the News Fix: US charges 18 after arms smuggling sting here , Dallas gunman kills 3 from sunroof here , WorldCom’s Ebbers convicted of all charges here , California ruling sets up gay marriage fight here , and Anthrax detected at mailroom here .

5. Yearning to be Free Fix: In the last four months, six Muslim women living in the Berlin area have been brutally murdered by family members. Their crime? They yearned to be free to live a Western lifestyle here .

6. Opinion Fix: Paul Campos /Rocky Mountain News ( Ward Churchill buyout ), David Brooks /NY Times ( Social Security reform DOA ), David Limbaugh /Creators Syndicate ( Prayers for Terri ), Chuck Colson /Break Point ( Understanding Evangelical voters ), and Wesley Pruden /Washington Times ( Condoleezza Rice ).