Are there more good ones? Bring ‘em on

I just received this e-Mail:

Dear Mr. Webster,
I simply want to inquire as to whether or not you received the limericks I e-mailed to you at limericks@spokesman.com on March 4th. That was the address given to me when I called the Review to find out where to send them. Thanks, Richard Shute.

This is what I replied:

Richard: I did indeed receive them and, as with any exercise in second-guessing , I see at least two of your submissions that could easily have been included among those printed. My apologies. If I can find a way to include one or two in one of my future books columns, I will.

This online journal has no space limitations. So I’ll include the limericks of Mr. Shute’s that I like here:

Brain Food

The Northwest had some angry bovines
Come to cow us with fear of their kind
They’ve got a beef with their grains
Causing ill-tempered brains
Are they mad or just out of their minds?

Quarantine Blues

An outlaw from Otis got away
With a lecture at the border they say:
“Leave your apples at home
Where the maggots can’t roam
And the flies are not rowdy all day.”