Headlines @ Closin’ Time (3/22/05)

* ‘Terri’s fading quickly’: Parents beg federal appeals court to order feeding tube reinserted /Associated Press — We wouldn’t treat the worst al Qaeda killer this way. God have mercy on our calloused hearts.

* Document: Bin Laden evaded U.S. forces: Terror suspect says he helped al-Qaida leader escape Tora Bora in 2001 /Associated Press — Now, here’s a guy who needs his feeding tube removed. Oh wait, that’d be torture. We can’t do that.

* Fed raises interest rates 1/4 point: 7th straight time central bank has boosted borrowing costs /MSNBC — The market fell another 95 points today, even though the increase was expected. I never can figure this stuff out.

* Red Lake in shock after shooting by teen ‘Angel of Death’ /Yahoo! News — We abandon our moral values as a country, and we produce young psychopaths. A = B. Simple as that. More info on this monstrous creep here .

* Army raises enlistment age for reservists to 39 /Reuters News Service — Wasn’t Jack Benny perennially 39? We all qualify now, I guess.