The Slice: Could say her zipper got stuck

Sometimes good tents go bad. “It seems that every tent my family has owned has been replaced due to bad zippers,” wrote Marissa Halpin of Spokane Valley.

One incident stands out.

The family had pitched a tent in Yellowstone National Park. The zipper broke.

“So my dad decided to use safety pins to keep our door closed,” wrote Halpin.

Well, that was fine, for a while.

Then, in the middle of the night, Halpin’s younger sister (6 at the time) needed to go to the bathroom. Make that REALLY NEEDED TO GO.

“So there was my dad, half asleep, trying to undo a bundle of safety pins in the dead of night in Yellowstone.”

If there had been a grizzly bear watching this, it would have been a scene straight out of “The Far Side.”

Lewis Schrawyer’s story doesn’t really involve camping, and it didn’t take place in the Northwest.

“In Vietnam, we lived in a tent that housed about 10 people,” he began. “In the middle of the monsoon season, our stove quit working.

“One of our rocket scientists decided that it would work just as well to put a No. 10 can of diesel fuel in the bottom of the stove cavity and light it.”

For a little while, this seemed to be going fine. “About 30 minutes later, though, people came rushing into the tent, yelling that our roof was on fire.”

The stove pipe had gotten so hot it had ignited the tent.

The fire was extinguished. But the mishap left a 4-foot-square hole in the top of the tent.

“Final result: Commander said we were too stupid to have a stove, so he ordered it removed and left the hole in the roof of the tent. We never dried out that entire season.”

“How to annoy someone from Back East: Say “So you’re from (name of the state), huh? Why, I’ve got beach towels bigger than that.”

“Seasonal weight control tactics: “I have been known to throw fruitcake in the fireplace,” said Marilyn Hayes of Mullan.

So what would be the spring/summer equivalent?

“Here and there: Last weekend’s Lilac Parade reminded Jennifer McLain of a family story.

It seems that one year, as the floats and bands from various Northwest communities passed by, her uncle yelled out, “My old hometown!” to each and every one.

“Three ways summer has changed:

1. Some lawn furniture is actually comfortable now.

2. Backyard grills now come with voice-recognition and GPS.

3. Squirt guns now have throw-weight ratings.

“Today’s Slice question: What’s the No. 1 mistake lemonade stand operators make?

A). Poor location. B) No marketing plan. C) Casual attitude about hygiene. D) Off-putting pricing. E) Unrealistic debt management. F) No mission statement. G) Bad product. H) Other.