The Slice: Both are definitely well red

Do you think it’s just a coincidence that Idaho and Texas are the only two state names with five letters?

Or is there some deeper meaning, some socio-political, attitudinal connection?

Consider: Both states have a region known as the Panhandle. And both states have a fair number of residents who are heavily armed.

Oh, wait. I forgot about Maine.

Never mind.

•Things Spokane has never been called:

1. “Stronger than dirt.”

2. “Barbecue capital of America.”

3. “The happiest place on Earth.”

4. “Original home of full-contact croquet.”

5. “The town that time resented.”

6. “Beguiled by its own winning self-confidence.”

7. “The city of finalists.”

8. “Billingsesque.”

9. “One toke over the state line.”

10. “Deadwood East.”

11. “Likely to cause sexual side effects.”

12. “A great place to raise objections.”

13. “Fluoridated.”

14. “Fast acting.”

15. “Likely to re-offend.”

•Just wondering: How long did it take you to get sick of the “Lion King” commercials?

•Flirting tips for those attending ArtFest this weekend:

1. No “intern” jokes.

2. Don’t touch.

3. Don’t say, “So how’s your team doing?” (That’s Hoopfest.)

4. Come up with something better than, “Do you like art?”

5. Be good-looking.

6. Smile.

•Complete this sentence: “It’s hard to believe, but one time I actually managed to get a sunburn on my …”

•Neighbor nickname: A reader who once lived next door to one of Spokane’s high-profile Gypsy families said her kids got confused about that widely applied ethnic label. So the children called the neighbors “Pirates.”

•Warm-up questions: How did you decide what color to paint your house? Have you ever actually cheered upon learning that the people in the apartment next to yours were moving out? Do your condo association’s meetings mostly serve to remind everyone that a dozen or more people seldom agree on anything? Do you find that most shelter managers are unsympathetic when it comes to complaints about snoring?

•Today’s Slice question: If every adult citizen of Spokane spent a night riding along with a police officer, the city’s self-image would …

A). Plummet. B) Not change much. C) Suddenly be reality-based. D) Have to take into account that police officers often see just one end of the spectrum. E) Feature haunting images of a lot of drunken idiots. F) Other.