The Slice: Mascot might be a little scary

Paul Mackey’s son, P.J., will turn 3 later this month. So the boy’s parents asked him where he would like to have his birthday party.

The kid didn’t hesitate. “At mac and cheese,” he answered.

Maybe he meant “Chuck E. Cheese’s.” But then again, Mac and Cheese sounds like a place 3-year-olds would like. Perhaps a new chain has opened on Division that The Slice hasn’t heard about.

“Slice reader Al Rossi wonders: “Does anyone else get worried when the price of tuna falls below the price of cat food?”

“It pays to read carefully: I saw a press release announcing “Take a Model to Work Day.”

And immediately I started thinking about the possibilities. It would be sort of fun to take Christy Turlington or Heidi Klum to work.

I can picture it now. I could explain my filing system and we could go through e-mail from readers. My visitor could even answer the phone.

“Hello, this is Slice Headquarters. No, Mr. Turner is having a Fig Newton at the moment. May I have him call you back?”

I’m sure a model would find it all quite entertaining.

Of course, I suspect a couple of the male page designers would suddenly start hanging around my desk, asking me a bunch of unnecessary questions and what not. And that could get old. So maybe it would be more trouble than it’s worth.

As it happens, I needn’t worry. I looked again at the press release and saw that the Nov. 4 event is actually “Take a Model Train to Work Day.”

“Speaking of misunderstandings: Features editor Pia Hansen informed me last week that the public relations people at Estee Lauder had been under the impression that I was the S-R’s beauty editor.

That has been cleared up. But had I known, I might have come up with a special Slice skin-care regimen, spent a lot more time thinking about hair and designated some color “the new black.”

The same day, I received an e-mail directed to me because the sender believed I am engaged in youth ministry.

Yeah, I can see how someone could make that mistake. So maybe I ought to just go for it. Maybe I should speak directly to children, saying unto them…

Kids, the Lord wants you to make sure your parents keep buying the newspaper at least until I’m ready to retire. It is written.

“Slice reader Greg Cicero wonders: “Who is more likely to ruin a wedding reception — tux-wearing men in tennis shoes or ex-boyfriends?”

“Slice reader Scott Rozett wonders: “Is it possible to drive between Coeur d’Alene and Spokane without passing in either direction one of the Coeur d’Alene Resort’s blue vans shuttling passengers to or from the Spokane airport?”

“Today’s Slice question: Which of your co-workers spends the most time on the phone at the office talking to family members?