The Slice: Ointment might cure git-along

Last Sunday, Spokane’s Julie Gray woke up with a sore hip. So she wasn’t moving too well. “I’ve got a hitch in my git-along,” she declared.

Her 14-year-old daughter, Chelsea, was appalled. “Ewww, gross,” she said.

It seems Chelsea thought her mom had said “itch.” And, God forbid, she wanted to hear no more about the state of her mother’s “git-along,” whatever that is.

“Slice answer: Gary Polser took on Thursday’s questions.

What sort of winter are we going to have? “Expensive.”

What is the basis for your prediction? “Katrina/Rita.”

“Opening acts: Teresa Kafentzis, who works at a Spokane hospital, has an idea.

“Many medical procedures and/or diagnoses would make great names for bands,” she wrote.

Among those she offered for consideration: Coxa Vara, Sprengel’s Deformity, Skewfoot, Osteochondroses, Duplicated Finger and Thumbs, Radioulnar Synostosis, Supracondylar & Radial Head Fractures, Pes Valgus, Patellar Malignment and Dislocation, and Toe Deformities.

“Maybe honesty is the best policy: A reader named Janet called to report that she had come across a man-seeking-woman personals ad which promised “digression assured.”

It was probably supposed to be “discretion.” But who knows. Maybe it was a guy willing to admit that his conversation style is rambling and incoherent.

“Next Sunday: If you are a pet lover, The Slice recommends attending the “Blessing of the Animals” service at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church on Spokane’s South Hill (corner of Grand and 24th). Sharing a pew with dogs and cats can be memorable. Trust me.

The event, which notes the Feast Day of St. Francis, starts at 10:45 a.m. this year.

For more information, call St. Mark’s at 747-6677.

“Slice answers (intriguing litter): To switch drivers, Hank Steiner and his wife had pulled over to the side of an interstate highway in Wyoming.

He noticed something near the road and investigated. It was a samurai sword in a scabbard.

Thinking it might be better off in the hands of a couple of pacifists, the Steiners kept it.

Here’s one more.

“I’m not sure if this qualifies as ‘litter,’ but here’s my story,” wrote Lawrence Killingsworth. “Years ago I was beachcombing along a remote stretch of the Outer Banks off the coast of North Carolina. I came upon a huge crate that had washed up on the beach.

“I went back to my car, got my tire iron and pried it open. Inside? A grand piano.

“Regrettably, I had to leave it there, littering the beach.”

“Today’s Slice question: What’s something a friend did for you once that still chokes you up when you think about it now?