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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: From the mailbag …

Stand back. I’m about to dump out a bucket of mail from readers.

“Slice answers: Hank Kuhlman said Spokane would be the logical home to the Penny Pinchers Hall of Fame.

Mary Ann Barney said her four-bathroom townhouse might store the most amazing one-family supply of toilet paper. “My husband has had a thing about toilet paper,” she wrote.

But Jay Wyer thinks his family could compete for the title. “I counted 103 rolls of the super size this morning,” he said.

What did 75-year-old Marion Anderson learn after trying to incorporate a magazine’s lifestyle tip into her daily life? “It’s too late.”

Larry Ferger’s library card story sounds a bit like a scene from the ‘80s sitcom “Newhart.”

Before moving to California, he gave his card to his brother. Then he moved back and was in the process of applying for a new card here. When a library employee noted that there was already a Larry Ferger in the system, he replied: “That’s my other brother Larry.”

“Family Phrases Department: Linda Higley’s husband, Gary, was discussing an entertainer who had disappeared from view. He described the performer as a “flash in the pants.”

Yes, that should have been “pan.”

But they embraced the mistake.

“From that day on, whenever we talk about something that is temporary, we all know it will just be a flash in the pants,” wrote Higley.

One more. When Amy Jude Keaton’s family refers to someone who makes astonishingly poor decisions, they say, “There’s one who missed the goose coop.”

That expression dates back to 1920s Kansas, when some boys were playing a game that involved rolling off the roof of a barn onto the top of the aforementioned coop. Then they would roll onto a haystack.

Well, after one boy misjudged his position and wound up breaking a leg, another lad came in and reported to a friend of Keaton’s great-grandmother, “Huey missed the goose coop.”

“Sports Department: “I have an idea for a contest,” wrote William Hiatt. “Let’s get readers to vote for the college football team that has the ugliest uniforms. I vote for the University of Oregon Ducks.”

And Kathryn Vogler said Whitworth couldn’t use Fightin’ Christians as a nickname because it’s too much like Whitman College’s mascot, Missionaries.

“When adults sound crazy: Years ago, Trudi Brown was making a special cake with a neighbor. The recipe called for a Birds Eye topping.

The friend’s 4-year-old daughter heard this and immediately went on record as opposing putting birds’ eyes on the cake.

“Warm-up questions: Are you a Navin Johnson about the new phone book? Do you have any idea what that means?

“Today’s Slice question: What do you have to say about the angle of sunlight at our latitude?

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