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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Keep cold feet, hands to yourself

The Slice Paul Turner

It’s time to start thinking about being careful in bed. Saturday is the unofficial start of Cold Hands & Feet Season. So if you share a sleeping space, keep your extremities in check.

“Slice answer (something a friend did): “This happened a long time ago, but it has stuck with me all these years,” wrote Laura Estes.

When she was 12, she had hernia surgery. After she got home from the hospital, her friend, Marla, came for a visit.

Marla was dying of leukemia. She had little strength and could not stay long. But she brought Estes a small ceramic horse.

“I have kept that little foal all these years,” wrote Estes. “It sits on our mantel as a reminder to pray for all kids suffering life-threatening diseases.”

“It says here: The old monument about 15 miles south of Spokane marking the spot where Chief Qualchan was hanged in 1858 is the most deflating historical marker in this area.

“Question for newcomers to Spokane: Which bits of local conventional wisdom have you rejected?

A) Our drivers are unusually bad. B) This is a friendly city. C) The “Going to the lake” thing is cute. D) Everybody loves Bloomsday, Hoopfest, the Cougs, et cetera. E) Tartar sauce goes well with almost everything. F) Driving to Seattle and back is a snap. G) The S-R is liberal. H) The S-R is conservative. I) Our winters are rugged. J) People who build big houses in what used to be wildlife habitat are nature lovers. K) No one in the Northwest goes to church. L) You can’t live here and not embrace outdoor recreation. M) Yard sales are exciting. N) A state income tax would be bad. O) Fluoridation is an insidious plot. P) Casual attire is suitable for any occasion. Q) Everyone is ga-ga about huckleberries and salmon. R) It occasionally gets humid here. S) Spokane is racist. T) Spokane is not racist. U) The sad trappings of poverty are less indicative of reality here than glossy pictures of boating and skiing. V) People are into the arts here. W) People aren’t really into the arts here. X) Procreation is mandatory. Y) Being single is considered an alternative lifestyle here. Z) Other.

“Now in zesty flavors: Gordon Alexander drove his elderly parents to Portland recently. Along the way, they passed a ranch. His mom noticed a horse with distinctive coloring. “There’s a pretty pimento pony,” she said.

“Slice answer: Becky DeVries reported that her brother David has moved seven times in 20 years and each residence was in an area bounded by 40th, High Drive, 20th and Regal.

“Ten of Slice reader Don Hertz’s favorite movies: “Doctor Zhivago,” “Legends of the Fall,” “The Godfather,” “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” “Titanic,” “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Inherit the Wind,” “From Here to Eternity,” “The Caine Mutiny,” “Dances With Wolves.”

“Today’s Slice question: How much national attention would Spokane get if a natural disaster obliterated much of the city?

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