The Slice: Your vote is what they really value

We’ve all seen TV commercials for local political candidates in which the person running for office is said to embrace “Eastern Washington values.”

I guess those are supposed to include honesty, hard work and the other usual suspects.

Fine. But what is uniquely “Eastern Washington” about any of that? Don’t people in Iowa or New Mexico believe in the same things? Don’t they also have open-collar work shirts and firm handshakes?

Perhaps that’s code for “Not like in big cities, with all their minorities and criminals.”

Yes, by all means, let’s distance ourselves from major metropolitan areas. After all, what have they contributed to our nation’s culture and honor roll of heroes? (In case you failed to detect it, I’m being sarcastic.)

But the thing that really bugs me about “Eastern Washington values” is the simple fact that a lot of dishonest, small-minded and violent things happen here every week.

Are child abuse and cronyism Eastern Washington values?

So where do we get off, trumpeting our decency and sun-kissed patriotism while ignoring our myriad social ills?

Of course, it’s probably crazy to expect much of political ads. They are what they are.

But wouldn’t it be great if, instead of trying to make us feel all warm and fuzzy about ourselves (and by extension, the candidate in question), a campaign commercial came along once in a while where the office-seeker quit smiling for a second and promised to face up to some not-so-pleasant truths?

A willingness to confront reality…now there’s a value Eastern Washington deserves.

“Slice answer: Several readers said May 18 — the day Mount St. Helens erupted in 1980 — ought to be a state holiday in Washington.

“Spare change: The closing of the liquor store near the entrance to the Ridpath on Sprague has slightly reduced the insanity level of dealing with panhandlers in that part of downtown.

It used to be commonplace to be hit up for money right in front of that store.

More than once, I counseled beggars that standing there might raise suspicions about their plans for the money. But oddly enough, they never seemed all that interested in my free advice.

“Unexpected twist: Kelley Dupuis was in a Browne’s Addition parking lot when he saw a license-plate holder that read “My Other Car is a Rolls Royce.”

The thing is, the car with the plate-holder was a Mercedes.

“Suggested name for a puppy or kitten: “Kid Gleason,” after the honest manager of the 1919 Chicago White Sox.

“Today’s Slice question: What’s your favorite depiction of your occupation in old movies? (Assuming, that is, that your job or something like it existed back then.)