The Slice: The Slice: Grab a coldie for Big Red and just chill

The Slice wondered what beer Santa Claus drinks.

Bud? Corona? Guinness? Duff?

Mike McClellan guessed that Hale’s Wee Heavy Winter Ale might be the big man’s choice.

Dave Haugen speculated that Northern Lights’ Crystal Bitter could be his favorite.

But Richard Hawley said Santa almost certainly prefers cognac.

And another reader guessed he drinks nothing but hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate? I don’t know. I think a guy who has to read a million letters from crazed little greedheads probably wants to kick back with something that has a little more oomph.

“Holiday music that didn’t match the moment: A couple of years ago, while she was on active duty in the military, Mike Storms’ younger daughter was deployed to the Middle East shortly before Christmas. “The flight hauling her and bunch of other troops was contracted to a commercial airline,” wrote Storms.

Music was playing on the plane. And just as it was about to take off, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” came on.

“Bummer,” said Storms.

Of course, in a way, that song was sadly perfect. (See the line “If only in my dreams.”)

“I’m listening: Tell The Slice about your unusual snow-shoveling injury.

“By the numbers: “On Wednesday afternoon I was sitting at that intersection of Francis and Ash,” wrote Liz Schatz. “On the southwest corner there is a reader board that tells the time and temperature. The address for the building is 1717 W. Francis and it is displayed in large numbers just below the reader board.

“I had to do a double-take because just above the 1717 it read ‘1:17’ and it was 17 degrees.”

She phoned her mom in California to report this numeric convergence.

And her mom told her to tell The Slice.

Always listen to your mother.

“Writing tight: One of my favorite publications is the Sagle Scoop, a student newspaper at North Idaho’s Sagle Elementary.

Here is the sports section, in its entirety, from the September/October issue: “Hi! My name is Talon. I do sports for the Sagle Scoop. This year I have a new partner. Her name is Katie Maddux. I thought starting off the year with a little football wouldn’t hurt. The NFL football league just stared this year, and so for it’s pretty rough.

“The Cincinnati Bengals just came off a win against the Pittsburgh Steelers. They won by only three points! Now that’s what I call a tight game! Well that’s all the space on the page I have, I’ll see you later folks!”

“Today’s Slice question: What’s it like to live in a pocket of the Inland Northwest that lacks cell phone service?