The Slice: Maybe we should make her shovel it

The Slice can explain this week’s winter-weather comeback.

Spokane Valley bookkeeper Joyce Mann recently had her snow tires removed. Apparently that triggered the return of snow and cold.

“Please publish my admission of guilt, as I am proud to take credit for winter’s last hurrah,” she wrote. “Had I known it was so easy, I would have taken them off two days before Christmas.”

“To shave or not to shave: “Just an hour or so before reading your column Sunday, I was in the bathroom debating with myself on that very question,” wrote Doug Schwab, maintenance foreman at Riverfront Park. “I decided that since I didn’t have to be anywhere, I would forego any unnecessary bloodshed and wait until the next day.”

Hmmm. Maybe it’s time for another round of gory shaving-accident stories.

“Movie-going theory: “I think there are a lot of men out there who, after hearing their wives and girlfriends rave about ‘Brokeback Mountain’ and reading all the reviews and Oscar buzz, are very intrigued and would love to see it,” wrote school administrator Karin Carter. “But they were so vehemently opposed to seeing it when it first came to town they’ve painted themselves into a corner. Besides, the wives and girlfriends have already seen it so they’d have to go alone or with another guy. Now that’s not gonna happen.”

Well, maybe they could say they’ve had a thoroughly heterosexual thing about “Brokeback” co-star Michelle Williams since her “Dawson’s Creek” days.

“Another porn stash discovered: The guy who bought the house where volunteer coordinator Susan Cairy had raised her sons was having trouble heating one of the bedrooms. He finally removed the vent cover and found a trove of what used to be known as men’s magazines.

When one of Cairy’s now-adult sons heard the story, he had one question: Did the house’s new owner save the magazines? (Hey, they might be worth something now.)

“Reformation, Part II: A Spokane 11-year-old named Zack was outraged by the news that a certain toy store was going to be converted to a retail outlet specializing in baby supplies.

“I’m going to be a protestant,” he declared to his mother.

She reminded him that he’s already a Protestant.

Not that kind, he explained. “I’m gonna make a sign and march around the front of the store and yell stuff,” he said.

Oh, said his mom. “A protesting Protestant.”

That, of course, is one of the great things about free speech. You don’t really have to know what you’re talking about.

“Today’s Slice question: If there was also a “Worst Presidents’ Day,” who would it recognize?