The Slice: New math through the ages

BONNIE YAHNKE’S husband has a birthday on the first day of a month. Bonnie’s is on the second day of another month. One daughter’s is on the third. The other daughter’s birthday is on the fourth day of a month. And their son? Well, his is on the 23rd. “But I always figure 2 and 3 makes 5,” said Bonnie.

“It’s not a totally e-mail world yet: The people who answer the phones still need to have some sense.

I was reminded of this when a recently retired friend told me a story. It seems an out-of-state acquaintance had phoned the business where my friend used to work, asking for him.

“He is no longer with us,” the caller was told.

Subsequent correspondence dispelled the impression that my friend had been canned. But the unfortunate confusion could have been avoided if the person fielding that call had used her head.

“Multiple choice: Identify David Eddings.

A) A minor British rock star known for his astonishingly bad skin and incomprehensible vocal stylings. B) An assassin who killed the governor of Idaho 100 years ago. C) A best-selling author of fantasy novels who was born in Spokane in 1931. Over the years, in interviews, he never missed an opportunity to bad-mouth the Lilac City. D) A University of Washington football player who gained fame for never attending class during his six-year NCAA playing career. E) The inventor of the graphical user interface. He was married nine times. F) The director of “Son of Flubber.” He was known for countless retakes and telling actors, “Do it better.”

The answer is down below The Slice’s contact info.

“Just wondering: Slice reader Bill Mahaney has a question: “Is it possible to get enough ‘free’ mailing labels (from the organizations that solicit alms during the holidays) to last until the next holiday season?”

And I’ve got a few questions of my own.

Is there any return address sticker that, because of the artwork/design, is simply too goofy for you to use?

Are you willing to use stickers provided by organizations you don’t really believe in?

Do you have a pecking order for your return address labels? (You know, ridiculous cartoony ones go on utility bills and credit card payments, so-so ones go on envelopes sent to local merchants, and your best, most elegant stickers go on personal correspondence.)

Have you ever entertained the notion that people handling the mail take the time to judge you on the basis of your return address labels?

Has guilt about not giving any money to the groups that send out these stickers made you more open to the idea of paying bills online?

“Warm-up question: Don’t you love watching old TV shows and movies that are set in “the future” when that future happens to be something like 1975 or 1986?

“Today’s Slice question: In Spokane, what’s the ultimate compliment?