The Slice: An old twist on choosing baby names

SOME INLAND Northwest town ought to put itself on the map by passing a resolution requiring that all resident newborns be named after characters in old TV westerns.

Just think. In a few years the grade school would be populated by a bunch of kids called Lucas, Festus, Doc, Trampas, Audra, Victoria, Rowdy, Micah, Hoss, Cheyenne, Mr. Favor, Sugarfoot, Paladin, Little Joe and, um, I think I see a problem here.

It might get confusing if every third girl got named “Miss Kitty.”

And who can remember the names of various “Big Valley” or “Bonanza” love interests? Those ill-starred ladies tended to have a life expectancy of about 54 minutes.

So never mind.

“Why she no longer hosts parties: One reader told about a gala evening when guests tracked in a phenomenal amount of dog droppings that soon became one with the living room carpet.

“Slice answers: “My wife, the resident Canadian, initially bristled at your question of how to spot a Canadian as if you were implying that they were a different species,” wrote Jerry Hilton. “But when she thought about it she came back with her old Canadian saying: ‘There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.’ So her answer was the Canadians would be the ones dressed for the winter weather.”

And in summer, they are the sun-starved folks in skimpy swimsuits, said Stacy Maddigan. “Maybe it’s because they are not as prudish as we are, but just look around the next time you are at the beach. You’ll see.”

“Big screen, small kid: “When my daughter, Arielle, was 3 years old, her aunt took her to a movie theater for the first time,” wrote Bonnie Alberts. “They saw ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ A few days after her big adventure, a commercial came on TV for a movie. The last line of the commercial was ‘Now playing at a theater near you.’ “

Hearing that, Arielle got really excited.

“I’ve been there!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been to A THEATER NEAR YOU!”

“Slice answer: Jodi Dineen has visited zoos in quite a few major American cities. “You can’t really say that any one is the best because each zoo has a uniqueness about it that makes it special,” she wrote. “I definitely can say that the worst zoo I have ever been to was in Mexico City. All the animals were in 6-by-6 metal cages. Made me cry.”

“For the record: Last Saturday’s story about Heidi, the doorbell-ringing German shepherd, prompted several readers to report that their dogs can do this, too.

“Warm-up questions: If you got down on the floor right this second, how many push-ups could you do? How many could you do when you were at your peak of fitness?

“Today’s Slice question: Who holds the record for leaving keys dangling from the lock on the outside of the door?