The Slice: It’s a good guess he was ‘Near Drunk’ when he wrote it

Sue Kellogg’s book club read “Citizen Vince,” a much-praised novel by Spokane’s Jess Walter.

During discussion of the book, one of the members read aloud something Walter had written for the S-R when he and his brother Ralph helped cover Eastern Washington University’s appearance in the NCAA basketball tournament a couple of years ago.

Jess had noted that EWU and Spokane share a few virtues, one being that both are “a nice blend of big and small.”

But something else he said struck Kellogg and the book club as a perfect civic motto, in case locals ever tire of “Near Nature, Near Perfect.”

Jess called EWU “unpretentious and surprisingly smart.”

And Kellogg thinks that’s true of Spokane as well. “It kind of says it all.”

“Good heavens: A Post Falls couple passed along a different sort of weather report.

A muscular storm in the middle of the night last week somehow activated the music box in a stuffed lamb that sits on a shelf near their bed. And as the couple sat up, they had to wonder just how violent the thunder and lightning planned to get. You see, the lamb played “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know …”

“Two things you seldom hear in real life: 1. “Our breakup went fine.” 2. “Oaty goodness.”

“Agree or disagree: You’re more likely to be mooned by strangers in North Idaho than in Eastern Washington.

“Which is the most powerful motivation for getting into the best shape of your life: A) Health concerns. B) Improve your performance in recreational sports. C) You want to look great next time your ex sees you. D) Other.

“Here’s a summer serving suggestion from a Slice reader: “Would you please bring it to Spokane’s attention that the most appropriate way to serve a lemon in any beverage is to slice it into wedges NOT, and I repeat NOT, into slices,” she wrote. “Lemons need to be squeezed to enhance the full flavor for that drink. A person absolutely cannot squeeze a slice of lemon without squirting the juice to other places besides into the glass. And it IS possible to squeeze a wedge without getting your fingers wet, but the same is certainly not true for a slice.

“Let’s have no more slices of lemons in beverages except for glasses of water.”

“For the record: Residents of Valley, Wash., would like it known that their town’s name is not shorthand for “Spokane Valley.”

“Warm-up question: When ordering flowers for a romantic interest over the phone, have you ever felt inhibited when asked, “And what would you like to say on the card?”

“Today’s Slice question: In real life, has anyone on a summer road trip ever actually had luggage tied to the top of the car come loose and go bouncing down the highway?