The Slice: S-R sting operation? Not quite

Some guy in Cheney got stung by hornets when he opened a newspaper vending machine. So, on behalf of the company, I would like to apologize. We’re sorry. But please note that those insects were not duly authorized representatives of The Spokesman-Review or Cowles Company. Their actions should not be construed as reflective of the newspaper’s attitude about readers. Moreover, it should be noted that we have yet to hear the hornets’ version of all this. That said, the S-R regrets the error, er, stings.

“Meeting the new sibling: When Marje Peterson got home from the hospital after giving birth, she asked her young son if he wanted to greet his newborn sister.

“He gave her one look and declared, ‘I don’t like that baby. Take her back!’ “

Well, they didn’t take her back. And 25 years later, her big brother is willing to admit that his first impression was a tad premature.

Sylvia and David Hutton thought they had prepared their children, ages 7 and 3, for the arrival of an adopted newborn. They told the kids that there would be a new, permanent family member.

But two weeks after the infant’s arrival, the 3-year-old had a question: “When is that baby’s mother going to come and get her?”

Almost 30 years later, everyone agrees it was a blessing that the new addition stayed.

Melissa Carpenter’s story is a little different. “When our oldest daughter was born, we were living with my parents because my husband had just gotten out of the Navy,” she wrote. “My youngest brother, who was 3 or 4 at the time, was less than thrilled when we brought the baby back from the hospital. Even though it was January, he said, ‘I don’t like it, throw it out on the grass.’ “

They didn’t. But the line became part of family lore.

“We considered telling him the same thing this last December when his first daughter was born but figured, after 20 years, it’s probably time to let it go.”

“Asked and answered: “My husband and I have no children by choice and when people ask us why, we look them straight in the eye and tell them we realized we were not parent material so chose not to,” wrote Marilyn Hall of Kettle Falls. “This stops them cold.”

“It’s all relative: Carol Siegenthaler just got back from a week in Denver. “I will never complain about traffic in Spokane again,” she wrote.

“Pet peeves: “My wife has a hard time with misspelled words on billboards,” wrote math teacher Dick O’Brien. “Mine is the incorrect usage of the ‘cent’ sign. Boy, do we make a pair.”

“Maybe the name in this item will look familiar: “I’ve lived in Spokane since July 1998 and I am a faithful reader of The Slice, and I swear to you I have never recognized the name of anyone in your column,” wrote Chris Coppen.

Hmmm. I would think that would almost be a statistical impossibility. But I know Chris, and he wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.

I have a couple of theories. But first I’d like to hear from other longtime readers. Is there anyone else who can say he or she doesn’t know anyone whose name has appeared in my column?

“Today’s Slice question: What’s your all-time favorite career memento?