Doug Clark: Name Eugster public nuisance No. 1

Ladies and gentlemen, I come before the Court of Popular Opinion today on an urgent municipal matter.

And that is to have Steve Eugster declared a public nuisance.

Eugster has devoted so much of his life to the noble causes of grandstanding and clogging the legal system, it’s only fair to give the former Spokane city councilman a little payback.

Send me your e-mails, phone calls. A few cash-stuffed envelopes would be swell, too. Together, we can make Spokane a safer place to live.

Of course, is anyone ever really safe from the Wrath of Eugster?

The least we can do is make him wear a warning label like a pack of Camel straights.

WARNING: This guy is a self-obsessed serial litigator. Exposure to Eugster can be hazardous to your sanity.

But let’s give credit where credit is deserved.

I borrowed this idea from Eugster’s crusade to have the River Park Square parking garage branded a public nuisance and shut down until its safety is assured. Eugster began thumping this drum not long after a Pullman plunged to her death after the car she was driving went through a fifth-level barrier on the garage.

Let me be clear. What happened to Jo Ellen Savage last April is a terrible tragedy that demands a complete investigation. I grieve for her loved ones.

The last thing this needs is Eugster, whose anti-garage sentiments date back to the 1990s. That injects a political element into a misfortune that isn’t deserved.

Far be it from me to think the worst of a person. But Eugster’s involvement strikes me as opportunism at its transparent worst.

River Park Square is owned by the Cowles Co., which owns The Spokesman-Review. But trust me: Garage or no garage, I’ve long considered Eugster a canker on the community’s rump.

“Spokane’s Count Tortula has sued the city 18 times in the past eight years. … Councilman Eugster would make Spokane the first city with a strong-litigator form of government.”

I wrote those words about Eugster – in 1999.

As a councilman, Eugster led the charge against the private/public River Park Square garage deal.

He ranted. He railed. He filed more lawsuits ….

Come to think of it, though, not once during all the wrangling do I recall safety ever being one of the grenades Eugster was lobbing at the garage. Hmm. Maybe I missed something.

On Tuesday, Eugster’s garage nuisance campaign suffered a setback. Superior Court Judge Kathleen O’Connor ruled in a hearing that Eugster didn’t “have ‘standing’ to make the nuisance claim because state law requires that a person who files one must be more affected by the alleged problem than the average citizen,” a news report said.

Interesting. But what grabbed my attention was the following part of the story:

“Eugster testified that he parks in the garage and that his daughter is learning to drive and likely will use the garage.”

Eugster parks in the garage?

This is like a PETA activist chowing down in a KFC. This is like Barbra Streisand donating to a GOP election fundraiser.

I don’t want to sound overly harsh. Everybody comes up with a good idea now and then, even Eugster. He once advocated putting my mug on bags used by dog owners for park-poo pickup. That has been one of my proudest moments in journalism.

But I’ll be honest. I liked Eugster a whole lot better when he was failing in politics instead of court hearings.

So let me be the first to encourage a “Eugster for Spokane Mayor 2007” bid.

No, I don’t think Eugster would make a good mayor. Or even come close to getting elected.

It’s just that Spokane politics has been sleepier than a coma patient lately. Quite frankly, I could use the material.