The Slice: Suspect believed to be human

Some of the things heard coming from the police radio scanner make you wonder.

The other morning a dispatcher or an officer referred to “an unknown quantity of an unidentified substance.”

Well, that really narrows it down.

“Slice answers: Years ago, Stace Norlen was playing catch in the backyard with her husband when he said she threw like a girl. So she really fired her next toss.

There is disagreement about whether the throw was too high or if he just plain missed it. But they suddenly needed a new kitchen window.

And Michae’l Alegria recalled that, at her Mead High School graduation in 1986, “Just about everyone was under the influence of something.”

“Life in the Northwest for transplanted Southerners: Nurse Sandra Boynton, who is white, still has her Southern accent. Among the patients who have noticed it was a young black man. After three days of Boynton caring for him, he said he was surprised that she was so nice to him.

“Why?” she asked.

Because she was from the South, he said.

“Guess we all make assumptions,” said Boynton.

William Hall’s story also involves race, but it’s a bit different.

After moving to Spokane from Virginia, he found himself in a conversation with someone who wanted to know how people back there could have elected a black governor (Douglas Wilder). The questioner definitely did not approve.

Hall informed the racist that he had voted for Wilder.

And I have a friend from Montana who, while not a transplanted Southerner, tells a story that fits this category.

“When we moved here in 1976, we couldn’t find grits at the grocery store,” he wrote.

So they asked a clerk for help. And that store employee explained that grits were in the ethnic food aisle.

“There are two kinds of people in Spokane: Those who are impressed by huge, expensive homes (regardless of architectural or interior design merits) and those who aren’t.

“Coming to a theater near you: A reader named Jon was looking at the signs at a movie multiplex when he realized something.

“Some of the abbreviated titles can be combined with the ones below to make new titles that are more interesting than the originals,” he wrote.

He offered examples.

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“Today’s Slice question: If, on a scale of political/cultural vibes, Provo, Utah, was “A” and Eugene, Ore., was “Z,” what letter would Spokane be?