The Slice: Graduates step through time warp

My wife and I met her when she was 1.

And now here we were driving her to the Spokane Arena for her high school graduation. (Her family would be coming a bit later and all had agreed having one less car to worry about would be a good thing.)

She recalled the time I wrote about her grade-school play (she played dental floss).

That had to have been a hundred years ago. Or maybe it was just a couple of weeks.

I found myself thinking about a time she visited us when we lived in an apartment that had raccoon traffic out on the balcony. Picking up a stuffed toy raccoon, the little girl had said, “He’s not shy – he came right in!”

She got out of the car and, stepping through a time warp, headed toward the arena as other seniors, some already in cap and gown, did the same.

“Criminal justice jingle: “Several months ago, I was doing first appearances,” wrote David Stevens, deputy prosecuting attorney for Spokane County. “The defendant was alleged to have shoplifted from Ziggy’s.

“As a pretrial release condition, we usually ask that shoplifters not return to the scene of the crime. When I asked that she be prohibited from going to any Ziggy’s, I couldn’t help myself and blurted out, ‘Ziggy’s, yeah Ziggy’s.’

“The defendant laughed. The defense attorney laughed. I smiled.

“The judge though was not amused and her silence was deafening.”

“Humor stylings of kids: “I read your recent item about the glee of third-graders talking about their ‘dam’ field trip and the comedy it induced,” wrote Art Anderson of Mullan, Idaho. “Well, here’s another one.”

Years ago, when Anderson’s children were in grade school, the family went for a drive. Several of the kids’ cousins came along for the ride.

Everything was fine until they approached a sign for Athol.

That’s when the young comedians started using their material.

“They got a real charge out of being able to say ‘Athol’ out loud in front of grown-ups,” wrote Anderson. “The number of times they were able to work it into the conversation and construct double-entendres was a wonder to behold. My wife and I could barely keep our faces straight.”

“Speaking of Ziggy’s: Apparently this story is semi-legendary in Spokane TV news circles. A reporter who was new to the area had heard that familiar advertising jingle. And she got it in her mind that the sing-song phrase was the actual name of the building supplies stores. So, in the course of reporting a news story involving the owner of the stores, she referred to the business as “Ziggy’s, yeah Ziggy’s.”

“Warm-up question: Anyone ever deliver right on her due date?

“Today’s Slice question: What makes you think you are smarter than most people around here?