The Slice: The Slice: No, really … ‘H.A.G.S.’ to all of you

A friend kept seeing “H.A.G.S.” written next to the signatures in his daughter’s middle-school yearbook.

And, frankly, he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

But his daughter assured him that it stands for “Have a great summer.”

“Hey, kids: When your old pal, Uncle Slice, asked his older readers to tell about the time they learned it wasn’t a good idea for two people to ride on a bike built for one, I expected some cautionary tales featuring scrapes and bruises.

Instead I heard about a broken jaw, horrible lacerations and a fatality — grim stuff.

So don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Fitting the description: Betty Clark was visiting family in another state when she greeted her young grandson’s friend at the door.

“I’m Evan’s grandmother from Colville, Washington,” said Clark.

“I know,” said the boy.

Clark asked him how he knew.

“You have gray hair and wrinkles,” the boy explained.

“The one-step secret to fixing your life: That turns out to be a pretty subjective call. But here are some choices to consider.

1. Eliminate high-fructose corn syrup from your diet. 2. Buy a boat. 3. Become known at work as the person who says “Stop staring at my shirt.” 4. Embrace your affectations. 5. Ask for forgiveness.

6. Start going to bed 45 minutes earlier. 7. Get HBO. 8. Walk away from insight plagiarists (whether the subject is college football or Iraq). 9. Get some new pants. 10. Cut up all but one credit card.

11. Avoid other people. 12. Work on your abs. 13. Stop waiting to win the lottery. 14. Decline to accept spiritual guidance from idiots. 15. Lift with your legs.

16. Never stand between two mommies judging one another’s lifestyle choices. 17. Don’t wear uncomfortable shoes. 18. Never pretend that you are a crafty poker player. 19. Face facts about your four-beers personality. 20. Invent a time machine and take a do-over on high school, based on what you now know.

“Slice answer: Spokane’s Debbie Mathews said the Edgewater campground near Ione, Wash., attracts the most eclectic assortment of people.

“Today’s Slice questions: After seeing an ad for an upcoming concert at a casino, a friend and I played a round of “How much would they have to pay you to get you to go to that show?”

We agreed that each of us would probably go for $2,000, but that anything less would be inadequate compensation for the ordeal.

So … advertising for what Inland Northwest summer of 2006 event has prompted you to play a similar game? And what dollar figure did you come up with?