The Slice: Think again about your comedy stylings

Stop! Wait!

Before you try that fake Irish accent, ask yourself one question.

“Will I just sound ridiculous?”

OK, let’s move on.

“Slice answer: “For me, I feel ‘burned out’ when I have to deal with parents who really have no idea what school is all about,” wrote Stacey Nash Toulou, a high school teacher. “Some parents will let their teenagers stay up until the wee hours of the morning playing video games, watching TV, et cetera, and then they blame the school when their child fails his/her classes because they are too tired to function.”

“Readers’ suggestions for the Old-School Dads line of T-shirts included: “You’ll go blind if you keep doing that.” — Paul Mackey

“Stand downwind, boy.” — Carl Eklund

“Because I said so, that’s why!” — Kristy Bennett

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.” — Lois Watts

“You have no vote.” — Gail Woods

“Learning the facts of life: “My parents were true fundamentalists,” wrote the Rev. Bill Peterson. “Even when they knew how ‘nature’ worked, it was God who got the credit.

“Thus, when I asked why a dear couple in our church who were so good with children didn’t have any children of their own, my mother’s explanation was that ‘People get married and God does — or doesn’t — bless them with children.’

“So, to my childhood literal way of thinking, that was the way it was. Get married and wait to see if you are among the blessed or the unblessed.

“Well, in the fifth or sixth grade (I can’t believe it was that long before I truly knew the ‘facts’), my friend Melvin thought I needed to know the truth. I thought his explanation so ‘dirty’ that I slugged him and gave him a bloody nose.

“The price some friends pay for just trying to help out the naïve.”

“Reader challenge: Here, from Slice reader Jim McPherson, are a couple names for a horror movie inspired by Spokane wild-turkey sightings.

“Gobble, Gobble, Die.”

“I Know What You Ate Last Thanksgiving.”

“What happens in Salt Lake City stays in Salt Lake City: Or maybe not.

You won’t find The Slice in the Today section for a few days because I’m going to Utah to help cover the NCAA tournament.

I won’t actually be writing about basketball. Beyond that, my game plan is a closely guarded secret.

“Today’s Slice question: Who holds the local record for most coins (in dollar amount) dumped into one of those machines that spit out a store credit/receipt in exchange for pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters?