Calling Dr. Phil, calling Dr. Phil …

Got a voice mail at 7:50 a.m. this morning that I think deserves an extended answer. Here it is:

“I’m one of the many who wasted their money on ‘Inside Man.’ I realize it’s R-rated, and I guess next time I’ll pay more attention to the rating, but how could you recommend a movie that has the F-word in every other sentence? But even worse that the R-rating, I just don’t get it. I just don’t get it. There’s going to be a lot of disappointed people.”

1, If I had a nickel for all the times that I have been disappointed by Hollywood, I’d be living in a villa on the Italian Riviera .

2, “Inside Man” is rated R for language and some violent images. Now, according to the Motion Picture Association of America , the advisory group that determines such ratings, an R rating by definition means the following:

“In the opinion of the Rating Board, this film definitely contains some adult material. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about this film before they allow their children to accompany them. An R-rated film may include strong language , violence, nudity, drug abuse, other elements, or a combination of the above, so parents are counseled in advance to take this advisory rating very seriously.”

The R doesn’t mean Rowdy. It means Restricted.

3, Whether a word has the F-word, the S-word, the C-word, either of the major B-words or any combination of the above has nothing whatsoever to do with a film’s quality. By that standard, most of the Oscar-winning films of the past quarter century would be denied a recommendation.

Come to think of it …

4, There are many things that I don’t get. For example, I don’t get why anyone would eat beets, how Tim Allen keeps getting work nor, most of all, grok the hypocrisy of politicians who quote scripture, vote for war and yet refuse to serve in the actual military.

Oh, and the color fuschia .

5, Life is disappointing. I learned to deal with that sad fact many years ago. In 1970, to be exact.

Thanks for feeding my heart to your dachshund, Theresa Lavonne Cornett.