The Slice: Snow angels? Definitely not this duo

Spokane’s Janice Duvanich was jazzed about her family’s outdoor Christmas decorations.

“We acquired a few decent pieces last year after the holidays were over, so we were excited to set them up this year,” she said. “It looked really nice.”

Let heaven and nature sing.

Then she woke up the other morning to discover that the best stuff had been stolen.

There were footprints in the new snow. Apparently there were two thieves. “We followed their tracks to where they parked their car a block away,” said Duvanich.

Grrrrrr.

But the family isn’t going to let the crooks steal their holiday spirit. They plan to buy replacement decorations.

“Slice answer: “Does cold weather help smokers quit?” wrote Steve Haynes. “No, but you can judge the severity of the cold by the length of the butts left behind.”

“Airbath: Spokane veterinarian Brian Hunter has noticed that inflatable yard decorations can take on a troubling look when they sag and collapse. “On the way to work this morning, I saw the cold, deflated bodies of several snow people and Santas,” he wrote.

He saw make-believe reindeer that were roadkill flat. He saw a Frosty the Snowman reduced to a vinyl puddle.

The yards in question looked like crime scenes.

“It is tempting to draw chalk lines around these thin Santas and tape off the yards for Spokane CSI,” wrote Hunter.

“Just wondering: Will those over-the-shoes pedestrian cleats be the next target for societal scorn?

“Don’t want the big guy to get too jolly: Chris Coffey’s 8-year-old son asked if he might get more presents if he left Santa some Cheez-It crackers and a Coors Light.

The lad was told Santa doesn’t drink and drive.

But at least the kid is thinking. The idea of offering the weight-challenged sleigh driver a low-cal beverage is really pretty impressive.

Still, you have to figure Saint Nick might have a taste for a heartier brew.

So, when he’s off duty, what beer do you suppose Santa prefers?

“How you can approach this season in a way that makes it meaningful if you aren’t especially religious: “The purpose of life is life itself,” wrote Sharon Leon. “For a normal person that includes having a social conscience. The spirit of the season found in ‘peace on earth, good will toward men’ doesn’t require a person to be very religious.”

“Today’s Slice question: What, for you, was the most surreal juxtaposition of holiday music and an unrelated event or activity?

(One Slice reader told about hearing “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” as a dentist stuck a needle in her gum.)