There’s a light side to life in Kosovo

So much for seriousness. At lunch today with the two Americans and four Kosovar staff members here at ABA-CEELI , the Kosovars tell jokes (two are true stories, one a variation on an old familiar American gag):

1, When a Kosovar wants to say that he/she is fluent in another language, the popular phrase is translated from the Albanian as “I speak like water.” So imagine the scene: A Kosovar is in London applying for a job and is asked whether he speaks English. “Sure,” he replies. “I speak like water.”

2, A Kosovar who speaks no English gets a job in a London car wash. The owner, an Albanian, gives him pricing directions, “If any customer asks you something, just say, ‘ Seven pounds , inside and outside.’ ” And so a guy drives up, looks out his window and says, “Nice day, isn’t it?” And the Kosovar says, “Seven pounds, inside and outside.”

3. Bill Clinton is somewhere in Europe, answering questions put to him by reporters. At one point during the press conference, a Kosovar journalist asks him, “What about Kosovo?” And Clinton – wait for it – says, “I never touched her.” Ba-DAH-boom.

4. One of the Kosovar staff members has a brother who lives in Paris, a sister who lives in London. When they all come home to visit their mother, he tells her, “Look, mom, you’ve done what George Bush can’t. You’ve gotten Paris and London together under one Kosovar roof.”