HUCKLEBERRIES: The rest of the story on crafting of condom couture

Seems I didn’t address journalism’s five W’s and especially the “H” – how? – Wednesday when I wrote about Trish Gannon’s condom dress. Remember? Trish, the spunky publisher/janitor of the biweekly River Journal up north, won first prize at a Halloween costume party last year by sewing dozens of unused, unpackaged condoms onto an old dress. Alas, I failed to address some things that inquiring minds want to know, such as: How many condoms did it take? Answer: 147, not counting the two on the sides that were suppose to tie together under the bodice but broke. (That sometimes happens with condoms.) Quoth Trish: “Condoms are fragile little critters, and a number just drifted off the dress. I left a trail of condoms wherever I went.” Next question: How much did it cost? Answer: Nothing but the original $18 for the dress. Trish sez she had a “source” for the prophylactics. Question: How do you transform a lubricated condom into a compliant apparel accessory? Answer: Carefully, because, ah, they stick together. First, Trish washed them inside and out in the sink. Then, she sprinkled them with baby powder to give them “a fluffy, solid kind of look.” Unfortunately, during the wash cycle, Trish’s mother saw what she was doing and told everyone about it. For the next week, Trish was stopped repeatedly by Clark Fork residents who snickered when they asked: “Got your laundry done?” That was as bad as her son admitting sheepishly to friends that the bag of condoms on the coffee table “belong to Mom.” Any further questions?