The Slice: ‘Freebie’ left us a bit unimpressed

Don’t get me wrong.

I like the restaurant I’m about to mention. I’ve been there many times, and plan to go back.

But a card that arrived in the mail from this establishment struck me as sort of funny.

The message starts off sounding all festive. Then the special offer keeps getting less and less special. And I’m not even referring to the fact my wife’s name is misspelled on the address side of the card.

Here, printed in its entirety, is the invitation to party down:

“Happy Anniversary,

“The staff at Europa sends its best wishes and a GIFT!

“Bring this card the next time you come to Europa and we’ll buy you an appetizer to start off the fun.

“(Does not include the clam appetizer!)

“Not valid with any other promotions.

“Valid with purchase of entrees only.

“One per table, please.”

Sigh.

I think if there had been more room on that card they would eventually have gotten around to demanding that I be prepared to show three forms of picture I.D. before I set foot in the place.

And the thing is, I can’t think of anything I crave less than “clam appetizer.”

Oh, well. Even your friends get on your nerves sometimes.

“Name game: I received a fair amount of feedback after Tuesday’s column on trends in children’s monikers. But my favorite note came from a South Hill dad.

“Dear Paul:

“The flotsam sections of the paper don’t evoke much reaction from me, except your critique of wanton child names. My kids go to Hutton School, the epicenter of pretense, which is reflected well by the names some parents make us use when we address our kids’ classmates. They must believe they’re the only bearers of offspring. Or maybe they plan to market their children.

“Kids aren’t named, they’re emblemed or logoed. No geographic place is off limits. Idealistic concepts are fair mark. Sentences will be used next. We probably have auto designers and REI hue schemers to thank.

“With such hackneyed giddiness becoming standard fare, it’s reassuring to hear someone finally parent-slap those responsible. You didn’t just leave it at one paragraph, but gave it its proper due. My antagonism over child naming is now in remission for a while. Thank you.”

“You say you want a revolution: Answers to the question about ostentatious lake houses suggested that sizzling hostility toward rich people with questionable taste is alive and well in our region.

“Warm-up question: What local high school football coach delivers the most inspiring pre-game and halftime pep talks?

“Today’s Slice question: For what re-established contact with a friend or colleague from long ago do you have the Internet to thank?