The Slice: Maybe that gadget needs a tune-up

Every weekend, I spend about an hour sitting near a blood-pressure testing machine in a grocery store.

(Yes, it’s exciting being me.)

Anyway, I usually don’t interact with the people strapping themselves to this device. But for those who look worried after seeing the results, I have a suggestion.

Get a second opinion.

“Slice answer (What would you guess strangers call you): “The robot guy,” said Victor Buksbazen, who has an artificial voice-box and speaks with a mechanical timbre.

“For the record: I didn’t cite specific bad names Tuesday because the kids saddled with those names are not to blame.

“Just imagine: If members of your family or co-workers shrieked like tennis player Maria Sharapova every time they exerted themselves.

“I’m gonna take out the trash – unnnhhh!”

“Time to tackle this sales report – aiiieeeeehhh!”

“I think if I stretch I can reach this light bulb – ewwwfffff!”

“Different schools, same nicknames: Ted Teske graduated from Desert Christian High School in Lancaster, Calif. His wife, Kathryn, went to Hellgate High in Missoula. Though those schools sound like places with radically different worldviews, both field teams known as the Knights.

Susie Parker went to Foster High School in Tukwila, Wash. Her husband, Corey, attended North Mason High in Belfair, Wash. And when the two schools played each other, it was Bulldogs vs. Bulldogs.

“Hey, I’ve got your friendly greeting right here: Nola Barrett’s 14-year-old daughter Michaela was in a South Hill grocery store just minutes after a dental appointment.

“While she was browsing around, an older lady smiled at her,” wrote Barrett. “Being a friendly sort, Michaela smiled back.”

But her mouth was still numb from painkiller. So her attempt to produce a smile actually yielded something more like a grimace or mocking sneer. At least that’s the theory, because her expression was definitely misinterpreted.

“The lady, clearly offended, glared and went away in a huff.”

“Slice answer (put-downs that stuck): “I was in fourth grade in 1964,” wrote Annette LaCombe. “The class was practicing for the parents Christmas show. And I was told, in front of the entire class, to ‘mouth it’ during the actual show that evening. I have not sung since.

“While I am indeed tone-deaf, I did not know it at the time. I still remember the hurt and embarrassment from that most insensitive teacher.”

Reminds me of an episode of “The Andy Griffith Show.” But in that, they at least tried to spare Barney’s feelings.

“Today’s Slice question: Who around here made the most trips to Spokane International Airport this summer to pick someone up or drop someone off?