The Slice: Civic pride on hold until 2012

So I was all excited about passing a milestone that would really buff up my credentials as a true Spokane guy.

A car in my garage turned 20 years old. That made me the owner of a classic automobile. You can’t get much more Spokaney than that.

Just think. I can stare at it and talk, talk, talk about restoration plans.

But then I did a little research. I discovered that many regard 25 years as the authentic minimum age for a “classic.” Not 20.

So never mind. I’ll bring this up again in 2012.

“Spokane’s next mega-event: The Running of the Pit Bulls.

A colleague, Rick Bonino, came up with that inspired idea. You’ve got to admit it has possibilities.

There’s local flavor, tourism potential and the option of making it a fundraiser for Spokane’s animal control efforts.

“Many happy returns: Dorothy James Dean, the grande dame of Spokane casseroles, celebrates her 100th birthday today.

A family spokesman said the longtime S-R food editor is in good health and enjoying life at a South Hill retirement community.

Dean and her gambler father arrived in Spokane during the great Depression, jumping off a freight train.

After a series of brushes with the law, she ingratiated herself to an executive at the newspaper and landed a clerical position. When the food editor soon died in a mysterious baking accident, Dean was promoted to that post.

Her winning culinary formula – great, gooey gobs of cheese and butter – soon won her a loyal Inland Empire following.

Called “Dottie” by newsroom colleagues, she outlived seven husbands, all of whom died of clogged coronary arteries.

Biographer Graham Vink said Dean’s ability to maintain her trim figure led to rumors that she did not actually eat the foods she endorsed. But the retired editor waved away such talk, suggesting it was malicious gossip started by her twin sister and rival, Betty Crocker.

Dean won many journalism and dairy awards. She affectionately referred to her legion of readers as “feeders.”

She even ran for mayor in 1958, withdrawing before the election after a notorious incident at the Davenport Hotel involving a stallion and a brass quintet.

“Wrong product: Amazed by recent growth of leaves and flowers, Liz Hart’s young son asked her if she had used “Miracle Whip” on the yard.

“Four on the floor: 1. April might, in fact, be the cruelest. It is National Poetry Month.

2. Downtown Spokane’s alleys would make a good subject for a mildly edgy art-photo project.

3. When angry with them, some people address their pets by first, middle and last names.

4. Every extended family has a TV watcher who cannot resist commenting on people’s looks, no matter what the context.

“Today’s Slice question: Which of today’s column items is an April Fool’s gag?